Tag Archives: mother

My mom….and Facebook…. :)

Ma and her first time experience using Facebook

Ma and her first time experience using Facebook

A few days back I opened a Facebook account for ma. She was wanting to know what is that is so special about it. Now, following is what happened post that (Names of person have been changed to X and Y and the likes to maintain secrecy):

Day 1

Me : So how was your first day on Facebook?

Ma : Good but I had a question?

Me : What?

Ma: Isn’t X and her husband staying with each other anymore?

Me : Of course she is. Why would you get such a stupid idea?

Ma : Oh then why was she telling her husband what she should tell him in the realms of her bedroom, in the public space for all of us to see?

Me : Cause that is the new age love ma.

Ma : So the new age love means discussing your bedroom secrets in public?

Me : Yes ma…

Ma : Oh !!!

Day 2

Me : So how was your second day with Facebook?

Ma : I want to delete Y from my profile. He is a sadist and not my friend.

Me : Ha !! What did he do?

Ma : I wrote today on my wall “I am not feeling well” and he went and liked that comment. I thought he was a friend, but he is a sadist and no friend of mine.

Me : No ma. He is. Liking, is the Facebook language which interpreted in your language, means he does not like you having fever.

Ma : Ha ??

Me : Leave it. It does not make sense to me either.

Ma : Oh !!!

Day 3

Ma : What kind of a friend of yours is Z?

Me : Why?

Ma : He sent me a heart which had some romantic message on it, today. I did not know how to react, so I deleted it, but he needs to know he cannot send me such things. He is old enough to be my son?

Me : LOL. Ma he was not sending you his love. He was playing a game

Ma: A game?

Me : Ya. If you had accepted the heart you would have moved one step closer to solving a jigsaw puzzle. Currently I own 115 hearts and on level 16.

Ma : Oh !!!!

Day 4

Ma : Who is this A? Does he have no manners?

Me : He is a friend of Cousin B. What did he do?

Ma : He has no manners. He does not know me and even if he did, does he not know he should not go poking ladies? Today when I logged in, I saw an alert that A has poked me. Had he been in front of me, I would have whacked him. Rude, insolent urchin.

Me : Ma !!! He was just saying Hi to you…

Ma : Hi to me? By poking me?

Me : Yes ma, that’s the Facebook language of Hi.

Ma : Oh !!!!!

Day 5

Ma : I have new follower today for my blog, a Mr J who uses “Networked Blogs”

Me : Congratulations !!

Ma : He said he liked my blog and is following it and has asked me to follow him back in his blog

Me : So do so.

Ma : But isn’t it the norm to follow blogs when you like them and plan to keep reading them?

Me : Yes, so?

Ma : No, just that his blog is in Spanish, and mine is in Bengali? So……

Me : Oh !!!!!

Day 6

Me : Ma, why have you written in your FaceBook wall that you are going to the loo?

Ma : Well I was seeing everyone updating their every move every minute. And after you told me everything is today’s Facebook way of life, I thought I had to update every minute of my life there. And today I did nothing which I could update about, so when I went to the loo, I thought let me update that? Why? What happened?

Me : Ma !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Day 7

Me : So how has been your experience so far in Facebook?

Ma : Well I learnt that whatever I have learnt so far in my little over of 50 years of life is all trash.

Me : Meaning?

Ma : Well for starters I learnt that it’s ok to go poking ladies you have never ever met and its considered fine. I learnt it’s ok to talk about your bedroom details in public or wash your dirty linen in full view of others, and its not considered crass. You can be a sadist and enjoy your friend’s misery and you are still considered a friend. We were taught as kids never to talk to strangers but here we can merrily add strangers as friends and never knowing who they really are. The phrase “You scratch my back and I scratch yours” has now changed to “You follow my blog and I will follow yours”. Must say in 7 days I never learnt so much as I learnt via Facebook.

Me : So you continuing?

Ma : Hell No. I am 50+. I don’t think I can handle so much of unlearning at this age. I will go delete my profile tomorrow.

Needless to say, contrary to all her misgivings, its been nearly a month and ma is merrily continuing on Facebook. having learnt all the Facebook language and nuances, and I suspect quite enjoying the ride. Guess end of the day, that is the pull of Facebook….

PS : This is part fiction and part reality

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Parenting….#4

My parents

My parents

In my series of things I learnt from my parents this is another incident.

The one thing about parents is that its not something they teach you when you were a kid, they often teach you things even when you are an adult, maybe not so much as telling you things, but through their actions. One such incident happened with me some time back with my mother.

Very rarely in my adult life has it happened that my parents have not approved a decision of mine, but some years back I took a decision which my mother felt was a very tough road I chose for myself. She was of the opinion, that being so arduous, it was best avoided as being a concerned mother she did not want me to adopt a life which was hard. Of course in my home, we always voice opinions but not necessarily impose ourselves on someone. However in this case her opinion was so strong that it was quite a surprise. Anyway I still decided to adopt the path I took, as I felt that was the right thing to do. But I did not try and change her mind, as I felt she was right in her views as a concerned parent.

Life carried on, and we both avoided discussing this topic knowing how strongly we both felt about it. As predicted the journey I took was tough, but never did I tell anything to anyone. But over a period of time, I suddenly found her warming upto my decision and opening upto it. There was no reason which had prompted that, as the road I was trudging on was still quite the difficult one. So seeing this change I spoke to a very close friend of mine, who was the only one privy to the difficulties I faced in the path I took, and ma’s reservations. He was also very close to my mom, and so I asked him one day as to why ma suddenly changed her stance and was he an influencing factor. He said he had no role to play, but he would definitely speak to ma and try and gauge why she changed her stance.

After speaking to my mom, my friend came and told me what ma said and this is what she told him. “I know the path my daughter has chosen is tough. I know she will never complain, and I feel its a wrong choice cause its a path which would have a lot of tough obstacles on the way. But I also know, that that is what she wants and what will make her happy, and she will not change her mind cause its against her principles. The least I can do for her as her mother is support her, and try and make the journey a little less difficult. When she comes home, I don’t want her to think she has another battle to fight, in trying to convince her mother. If I am proven right, and my fears of the path being unbearable is true, its going to be the cost of my daughter’s happiness and I would rather I be proven wrong. That’s why I thought let me support her and pray she is right. And if God-forbid she is wrong, at least she won’t have a mother who will tell her ‘I told you so’ but would rather be with her and say its ok, we can surpass this. I want her to know that I am there, even if she is wrong not to judge her but to support her”.

Since I have moved to Bangalore, I have seen parents of my friends for whom their ego surpasses all barriers. They would force their decisions on their kids in the name of ego, past sacrifices done for their kids, how they know best or even society. And if by some miracle the kid, still manages to take a decision against his /her parents, and god forbid he/she fails, the instant reaction of parents is “I told you so” not once realising that their victory was at the cost of the kid’s happiness. That day I realised how lucky I was to have my parents, for whom my happiness was much more important than them coming right

That day I again realised how lucky I am to have my parents. They are not God but they are just what God meant them to be – Parents

My earlier posts on Parenting https://worldasisee.wordpress.com/2011/02/11/parenting-3/

Parenting….# 1

My parents

Since I have moved to Bangalore, the one thing which amazes me here is the amount of control parents have on kids and this cuts across all ages and its amazing. I have been touch-wood very lucky to have extremely understanding and liberal parents, who have not only given me the freedom to choose my life and make my own mistakes, but have stood by me through thick and thin. Its not like I have not reprimanded when I make mistakes (which of course me being perfect is rare :P) but then I have been allowed to lead my own life, find my own destiny and become my own person cause of them.

Before I start I would like to make one thing clear – my parents were not God. They never wanted me to believe they were. They always believed they were humans and I should treat them that way. They made their share of mistakes and their share of right things too, but in every way the one thing they never failed to do was to tell me that they were there always and for them my happiness was above all.

Anyway, so today I will start this series which will talk of the various things they taught me or told me or did for me, which made the person I am…some are funny incidents, some are their teachings, some are things they did for me which taught me something…..and someday when am married and have kids of my own, I hope I can teach them these very things too. This is in my own way, my tribute to my parents….

When i turned 18 baba and ma wished me and this is exactly what they told me…They said “today you are 18 and officially an adult. From today onwards you are free to take your own decisions and lead your life your own way. We feel as parents we have brought you up with the right value system and we feel you can take your own decisions correctly. As parents we will always reserve the right to tell you how we feel about your actions and comment on them and also try and guide you but the END DECISION HAS TO BE YOURS. But remember one thing that with every decision comes responsibility. You cannot take decisions and then come running to us when things go wrong. You have to solve them yourself and bear the responsibility yourself. You cannot blame others for things if they go wrong. If you take a wrong decision remember you have to feel the pain. Similarly if you take a right one you will feel the joy. Both are yours. As parents we assure you we will always be with you, in the good and the bad. So lead your life your way and we both believe that you will never ever misuse the freedom we give you or else we will know that we are unsuccessful in bringing you up properly”

Till date I have never forgotten this education and something I plan to impart to my kids, when I have them. Today when I see parents who control every breath of their kid, I realise the value of the freedom and responsibility my parents gave me and the value of what they told me when I turned 18……

Also see my other posts on parenting :
https://worldasisee.wordpress.com/2011/02/08/parenting-2/

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