Tag Archives: marriage

A date with a difference…..

Catch my latest article on http://worldasisee.com/a-date-with-a-difference/

First date

First dates can be fun too

……….and they lived happily everafter

Fairy Tale Romance

...And they lived happily ever after

(This was a piece I was asked to submit for another blog where am a guest writer http://wehaveastory.blogspot.com)

I have been struggling for over 24 hours to write this post on love and romance. I have written and re-written this piece a thousand times and yet nothing somehow seemed to pull that tug at the heart which all love stories do. What is it about love that has not already been written about? What is it about love that has not already been discussed a thousand times? I read a thousand articles to try and get some inspiration about this but somehow nothing clicked. I was just not feeling the way, a person who writes about love, feels. Dejected and lost, I felt maybe I had the lost the ability to feel love, and gave up the idea of submitting this article and went to bed.

And in bed, I suddenly smiled cause I saw the calendar and the date which signaled that Valentine’s day was coming and I smiled. I smiled cause I suddenly remembered about the love I have experienced and that is when I realised why I was not feeling inspired. When I was going through the myriad of articles on love and romance, somewhere every article had a bit of pain in it and I could not feel that pain. Even the ones, where one spoke of finding a soulmate, somehow there was this subtle hint of pain of loving someone so much that it hurt them. It was somehow like love was incomplete without pain. But then my love always made my smile. And that is when I got up and decided to pen down my thoughts.

I have been in love and I am in love. I have been broken-hearted too. Yet love to me has been the most beautiful feeling of all times. When I fell in love, did I not know that there would be thorns along with the roses? The answer was no, I did not. I felt love would be like a fairy tale romance but sadly life is not a fairy tale – its checkered with problems, fights, misunderstandings. But love is when you fairy tale romance in spite of this and I have.. And I have found my fairy tales in spite of being broken hearted more than once.

Now that I look back, I wonder, would my life have been this wonderful, had I not been changed by a man to become this epitome of positivity? Would I have conquered every battle, had I not had the strength of my love with me? Would the feeling of success had been same had I not had my love as wind beneath my wings? Would that dark period when I thought life was over, been surpassed had there been not been my love, standing there between me and my pain, to be the punching bag at all times? Would any valentine’s day be as much as fun, as I had when I ended up in a roadside dhaba to celebrate it, had it not been for the company of a wonderful man? Would life have been different had I not known that there is one man, for whom no matter what the world starts and ends with me? The answer is YES.

I have fallen in love twice. Both times with wonderful men. If my first love taught me to be strong and independent, the second man taught me that even if I cry, he is there to wipe it for me. If my first love taught me how to fall in love for the first time, my second love taught me how to stay in love forever. If my first love taught me how to make end every fight with a laugh, my second love taught me how to love even when angry. But most importantly what both men taught me is to love with all my heart and to be happy in love – happy that it happened, happy that I experienced a wonderful feeling called love.

So has my love life been all fun and laughter? The answer is No. I have had my dark clouds and broken hearts. But there is one thing life has taught me. It’s very easy to fall in love, much more easier to fall out of it, what is tough is to love someone happily in spite of everything. And when you can find that love, you will find your fairy tale in your imperfect love story, exactly like I did. A love story which might not give a tug to your heart, but will definitely make you smile, everytime you think about it.

So next time you think about love – think about happy times and not the sad, think about the laughter and not the tears, think about feeling of falling in love and not the feeling of hurt and you never know maybe someday you too will find your fairytale and your happily everafter story. I know I have.

And always remember it isn’t love if it did not make you smile.

I will end this with lyrics from my favourite Tagore song which epitomises how I have always felt about love :

Sakhi, bhabona kahare bole?
Sakhi, jatona kahare bole?
Tomra je bolo diboso-rajoni,
Bhalobasha, bhalobasha.
sakhi, bhalobasha kare koye?
Seki keboli jatona-moye?
Seki keboli chokher jal?
Seki keboli dukher saas?
Loke tobe kore ki sukheri tore,
Aemon dukhero aas?
Aamar chokhe to shokoli sobhon,
Shokoli nobeen, shokoli bimol.
Suneel akash, shyamolo kanon
Bishodo jochona, kusumo komol.
Shokol amari moton.
Tara keboli hanshe, keboli gaye,
Hanshiya, kheliya morite chaye.
Najane bedon, najane radon.
Najane shader jatona joton.
Phool se hanshite hanshite jhore,
Jochona hanshiya milaye jaye,
Hanshite hanshite alok sagore,
Akashero taara teyage kaaye.
Aamar moton sukhi ke aache?
Aaye sakhi aaye, aamar kaache
Sukhi hridoyer sukher gaan
Suniya toder judaabe pran
Protidin jodi kandibi keno,
Ek din noye hanshibi tora,
Ek din noye bishado bhuliya,
Shokole miliya gahibo gaan.

(translated it means why is all love stories so sad, and if they are why do people want to fall in love? I am happy and for me love is happiness. So why don’t you give up being unhappy and come with me and experience happiness in love)

…………….Wish everyone a very happy valentine’s day !!!

Marriage – Does it spell doom?

Ma says I should never knowingly and willingly harm someone or ruin someone’s life. Does that mean I should never ever marry?

Point to ponder

Our strange legal system

I keep reading news about men who got arrested and convicted cause they slept with a girl promising marriage and then did not which tantamount to rape.
Now according to dictionary and in the broader sense soliciting anything in lieu of sex is prostitution. So isn’t asking for marriage in lieu of sex, also prostitution? Is the court of law then today legalising it?
And on a different thought if we legalising prostitution using marriage as a barter why not legalise it when money, is the point of barter?

Are we saying prostitution is ok as long as we solicit marriage and not money? Point to ponder…

My horoscope matches yours – I am God

Horscope matching and why it makes me God

Satire on horoscope matching

This horoscope matching phenomenon which has the fancy of at least 50% of my countrymen is certainly an interesting concept and one which can have many uses if used properly.  Thanks to serials and all those movies doing the rounds horoscope matching is now more fashionable than it was maybe 30 years ago. So much so for progress. Anyway like I said, if used properly this can really be a successful phenomenon.

Now according to astrologers horoscope plays a very important role in our lives. So if I want to do business with you, if I want to marry you, for it to be successful, the only thing which will work is our horoscopes to match. Else doomsday.

Now here is some of the things I have heard astrologers say…if a person (read :girl )  is manglik (meaning if Mars is prevalent in your horoscope), your husband is sure to die unless he too has the same problem. Hence the solution is marry a tree, dog, etc first so that that object dies and then you free of the curse. AWESOME IDEA.  So why not make use of this idea.  Here we are running pillar to post wondering will we give capital punishment to Kasab, Dawood, etc and all the villains of the world.  One has to fight those human rights activists who seem to think all human rights belong to people who kill humans. So now this is what the law should do. Make a horoscope of the villain they want to do away with and pray he not manglik. Advertise for all the manglik girls who want to serve the nation and get them married off to these guys. And Poof !!!!! They are dead !!!!!!!!! So you are saved of the villains, the girls do a great deed, the girls lose their curse and can marry a man of their choice and human rights people are thrilled cause we got them married off. GREAT IDEA RIGHT???  Besides this will spare us of all the environment rights and animal rights people who will one of these days wake up to realise we are killing the dogs and plants through such means 🙂 . We can of course use this method to even pick up supari (collecting money to kill people). So instead of going by those boring old methods of killing someone using the gun, knives and all, we get them married and BANG (no pun intended) we have them dead !!!!!!!!!!!!

Now lets look at what else a horoscope can do for you. It can get you wealth, health, kids, etc, etc. In other words if an infertile man marries a girl whose horoscope matches his, he can produce kids. Medical Science be damned. In other words if a doctor finds a man who comes to him for being infertile, he has a brand new prescription to offer. A girl whose horoscope matches yours !!!!! 🙂 And this is one treatment which is fool proof.

Now lets take the case of some man who is a failure or whose business is failing. Ideally you would go to a consultant, etc and try and try and reorganise and reengineer your business. And pay a fortune for it. But now we have a much better way to handle it. We get you a wife whose horoscope matches yours. Consider it as a bonus offer – Have your business up and running and get a wife too FREE FREE FREE !!!!!!!!!

In other words we are God !!!! We can make or break you and even kill you by just the power of when we were born !!!!  Lucky us !!! And thank God for horoscopes which give us so much power in the world that previously we knew only God had !!!!!!  HENCE SALUTE US :). And salute all those who made horoscopes so important.

PS : And for readers who would want to know why me saying the power of horoscopes lies only with women, its cause in India we are still regressive enough to think women bring in the luck for a man. Science and logic and progress be damned 🙂

Am also hoping that one of these days the Govt of the worlds will accept all my theories and pay me money for these awesome ideas

My response to 90% of the marriage ads

Marriage ads in marriage portals

My ad in a marriage portal - Got me zero takers

Has anyone ever gone through marriage ads? Most men have standard requirements which are the following :

1. Fair bride (they can be dark as coal but wife dear has to be fair)

2. Sharp Features (its a different thing that their features have never known the word sharp)

3. Love my family (and dont expect them to love yours or for that matter even their own)

 4. Long Hair (They can be bald but you lady need to have long hair. Balancing act you see)

5. You need to cook very well (now you see if he is marrying he will do away with the maid, right?)

6. Educated (Degrees mean a lot specially to bong guys)

7. Young (They could be in their 50s but the girl needs to be in her early 20s)

And of coure they need to know the girl’s caste and many want my horoscope (and this even applies to all so called modern people who will otherwise write how caste system is wrong but when it comes to marriage wants to match all that). One would of course imagine that with such perfect matching none of those marriages ever can fail and most are match made in heaven but that is not always the case. Anyway thats a topic for another day.

Now lets look at the other party in the marriage viz : the women. Now women are simple and straight in all ads. They don’t have any such criteria. They are simple. THEY ARE JUST PERFECT. Every woman is beautiful (ignore the attached pic in case of marriage portal, as they were clicked on a very bad day), they can cook so well that chefs will feel ashamed, they are brilliant in studies and great at outdoor as wel as indoor work. And they will love your parents, will live on love and fresh air. Basically they are what God calls Angels.

Now seeing all these perfect women and the demands of the men I realised if I put up an ad, I will get nothing.  I mean God made me perfect but more like perfectly imperfect. How could I ever compete with such perfection I ever wondered. But nevertheless once ma (in one of her crazy ideas) said I need to marry either one of the men I knew or find someone for myself. Else she will get me married off. Now I did not want to ruin the lives of men I knew (they were friends after all and no matter how great I think I am and how much I love myself I will always feel sorry for the man who marries me), and neither did I want my mom looking for someone for me and then being blamed by my in laws that she got me married to them. So I said I will do the needful and this is the ad I put up.

AD :

Hi Prospective Grooms, Please stop here and look at me. I am desperate for marriage as ma says she cannot tolerate me anymore at home (Its a different thing that few days later you too will say the same thing). So please go through my profile and at least tell me you want to marry me even if you don’t. Anyway here is some details about me.

Well I am a wonderful girl. I am beautiful, attractive, nice, smart, intelligent, pretty – you can say adjectives fail me. I weigh around 100 kgs (but do not consider me fat – i am what you could say less thin), i am 4 ft 5 inches (but do not consider me short – i am less tall), i am black (you cannot find me in the night they say). My hair is wonderful. Basically i am bald and hence I use wonderful wigs – so you want long and silky, short & croppy, whatever. I can have that hair. (Now isn’t that a bonus. How many men can boast of wives who has hair of every type to suit every mood). My eyes put aishwarya’s to shame – only problem is you need a microscope to find it. My nose is the best part of my body – its like a road which suddenly took an u turn (You getting the picture right?) I wanted to go to the Ms Universe Contest but my family felt that others would have a inferiority complex and hence did not allow me to. Your good luck cause now me here and you can marry me !!

My other qualities – well i can cook. I mean I tried to make tea once but it tasted like ditch water. After that i never cooked. But I am sure if you want I can cook some burnt food for you. I am educated. I did pass some class some time – was it class V or was it class VI? I do not remember. Oh sorry I did appear for matriculation. Now class X exams come after class V right? Ok its a separate point that I did not pass. But so what? Lets say I am matric appeared (MA). Now that sounds like a degree, right?

My age – I am sure you are not that indecent to ask a girl her age. No one seems to have taught you any manners. Well lets say i am not very young.

My family says i am god’s gift to mankind. Any man who marries me would start praying to god that very day that I disappear from their life. So any man who does not pray much – God would gift me to them so they start praying.

Anyway here is my bio-data :

Name : Whats in a name ? Kalidas said that – so why bother telling you..or was it shakespeare??? ..well what the hell..what’s in their name too..

Age : I just said its indecent to ask a girl her age.Ok let me say I am 18+ ..that’s the legal age to marry right? Now don’t ask me how many plusses after 18…that me not telling

Caste : Don’t you know caste system has been abolished, you regressive men !!!!! How dare you ask someone this. I would put you behind bars for this.

Income : I am marrying so that my husband can earn for me, not the other way round.

Bank Balance : If I had any, why would I think of marrying you? And remember always your money is my money and my money is ALSO MY MONEY..Don’t you dare think of it as yours

Horoscope : Send me yours and I will send you back one which matches yours completely. Now what do they say in hindi “Chattis gun milenge”. Happy aren’t you?

My family : We are about a 100 member stong household. My husband would have to support them too. And please I cannot love your family like my own. Its tough enough loving them. And any case didn’t Karan Johar say “Its all about loving your parents”. He never said “its all about loving your husband’s parents”

Education : I can read & write

Habits : I drink like a fish, smoke like a chimney

Secret desire : To beat my husband black and blue every night.

Favourite Movie : She devil..I love it

My wish: To marry a man who can give me the 3 Ms – Money, Mercedes and Mansion.

My dream man : A guy who is dumb and a billionaire. And who can give me the 3Ms.

IF YOU FEEL YOU FIT INTO MY CATEGORY OF A PERFECT MAN PLEASE DO CONTACT ME AND WE CAN THEN DISCUSS THE FINANCIALS (hello you thought you will marry me without spending any penny on me is it? Now now it isn’t dowry, its lets say what they call proof of your love for me. Now I cannot marry unless you love me right? And You need to prove your love. Hence)

Needless to say all thought my honesty to be madness but such was life. I mean tell me something women do marry for social security and what is social security if you dont give me money and look after me and my needs? But no, if I say it am bad. Anyway sad thing is no one really agreed to marry me seeing this but so what? But then like I always says…Your loss dear….  🙂

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