Tag Archives: husband

The story of the cheating spouse….

Nemesis and the broken heart

Nemesis and the broken heart

A few days back I was having a chat with a very close friend of mine about love and betrayal. She was telling me about a close friend of hers who was recently going through a messy break-up with her husband cheating on her with her best friend. She was telling me about how her friend is going through a major crisis and low self-esteem cause of this, and how was she repeatedly asking herself, “where did i go wrong?”. What made matters worse was the in-laws going around and telling everyone that the fault lay with the girl, as she could not hold her husband back (I always wonder about these statements made, but that is a story for another day).

Hearing the entire story, I somehow was left complete confused. Here is the way I saw the problem :

The girl had a husband who turned out to be a cheater and a piece of work and who never loved her
The girl had in-laws who turned out to be the worst kind of in-laws any girl can ask for.

She lost them

The guy had a wife who loved him, dearly enough to cry even now, knowing what a piece of work he is

He lost her

So, can someone explain how the girl was the loser? As far as I see, she came out of the clutches of some of the worst people, she could ever be with and a life with a husband who did not love her, and the husband came out losing the woman who loved him to death. As far as I see isn’t it the man who is the loser and should be asking himself “why me?”, and not the other way round.

And, as far as the friend was concerned, I see it this way, she loves her friend a lot and so took away all her pain for herself, since now she has to live with this piece of shit….and trust me, if a man cheats once, he will cheat again, and imagine living with such a person for the rest of your life.

Correct me, if am wrong, but can there be any greater nemesis than this?

(PS: My theory would have been the same had it been a wife cheating on the husband)

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……….and they lived happily everafter

Fairy Tale Romance

...And they lived happily ever after

(This was a piece I was asked to submit for another blog where am a guest writer http://wehaveastory.blogspot.com)

I have been struggling for over 24 hours to write this post on love and romance. I have written and re-written this piece a thousand times and yet nothing somehow seemed to pull that tug at the heart which all love stories do. What is it about love that has not already been written about? What is it about love that has not already been discussed a thousand times? I read a thousand articles to try and get some inspiration about this but somehow nothing clicked. I was just not feeling the way, a person who writes about love, feels. Dejected and lost, I felt maybe I had the lost the ability to feel love, and gave up the idea of submitting this article and went to bed.

And in bed, I suddenly smiled cause I saw the calendar and the date which signaled that Valentine’s day was coming and I smiled. I smiled cause I suddenly remembered about the love I have experienced and that is when I realised why I was not feeling inspired. When I was going through the myriad of articles on love and romance, somewhere every article had a bit of pain in it and I could not feel that pain. Even the ones, where one spoke of finding a soulmate, somehow there was this subtle hint of pain of loving someone so much that it hurt them. It was somehow like love was incomplete without pain. But then my love always made my smile. And that is when I got up and decided to pen down my thoughts.

I have been in love and I am in love. I have been broken-hearted too. Yet love to me has been the most beautiful feeling of all times. When I fell in love, did I not know that there would be thorns along with the roses? The answer was no, I did not. I felt love would be like a fairy tale romance but sadly life is not a fairy tale – its checkered with problems, fights, misunderstandings. But love is when you fairy tale romance in spite of this and I have.. And I have found my fairy tales in spite of being broken hearted more than once.

Now that I look back, I wonder, would my life have been this wonderful, had I not been changed by a man to become this epitome of positivity? Would I have conquered every battle, had I not had the strength of my love with me? Would the feeling of success had been same had I not had my love as wind beneath my wings? Would that dark period when I thought life was over, been surpassed had there been not been my love, standing there between me and my pain, to be the punching bag at all times? Would any valentine’s day be as much as fun, as I had when I ended up in a roadside dhaba to celebrate it, had it not been for the company of a wonderful man? Would life have been different had I not known that there is one man, for whom no matter what the world starts and ends with me? The answer is YES.

I have fallen in love twice. Both times with wonderful men. If my first love taught me to be strong and independent, the second man taught me that even if I cry, he is there to wipe it for me. If my first love taught me how to fall in love for the first time, my second love taught me how to stay in love forever. If my first love taught me how to make end every fight with a laugh, my second love taught me how to love even when angry. But most importantly what both men taught me is to love with all my heart and to be happy in love – happy that it happened, happy that I experienced a wonderful feeling called love.

So has my love life been all fun and laughter? The answer is No. I have had my dark clouds and broken hearts. But there is one thing life has taught me. It’s very easy to fall in love, much more easier to fall out of it, what is tough is to love someone happily in spite of everything. And when you can find that love, you will find your fairy tale in your imperfect love story, exactly like I did. A love story which might not give a tug to your heart, but will definitely make you smile, everytime you think about it.

So next time you think about love – think about happy times and not the sad, think about the laughter and not the tears, think about feeling of falling in love and not the feeling of hurt and you never know maybe someday you too will find your fairytale and your happily everafter story. I know I have.

And always remember it isn’t love if it did not make you smile.

I will end this with lyrics from my favourite Tagore song which epitomises how I have always felt about love :

Sakhi, bhabona kahare bole?
Sakhi, jatona kahare bole?
Tomra je bolo diboso-rajoni,
Bhalobasha, bhalobasha.
sakhi, bhalobasha kare koye?
Seki keboli jatona-moye?
Seki keboli chokher jal?
Seki keboli dukher saas?
Loke tobe kore ki sukheri tore,
Aemon dukhero aas?
Aamar chokhe to shokoli sobhon,
Shokoli nobeen, shokoli bimol.
Suneel akash, shyamolo kanon
Bishodo jochona, kusumo komol.
Shokol amari moton.
Tara keboli hanshe, keboli gaye,
Hanshiya, kheliya morite chaye.
Najane bedon, najane radon.
Najane shader jatona joton.
Phool se hanshite hanshite jhore,
Jochona hanshiya milaye jaye,
Hanshite hanshite alok sagore,
Akashero taara teyage kaaye.
Aamar moton sukhi ke aache?
Aaye sakhi aaye, aamar kaache
Sukhi hridoyer sukher gaan
Suniya toder judaabe pran
Protidin jodi kandibi keno,
Ek din noye hanshibi tora,
Ek din noye bishado bhuliya,
Shokole miliya gahibo gaan.

(translated it means why is all love stories so sad, and if they are why do people want to fall in love? I am happy and for me love is happiness. So why don’t you give up being unhappy and come with me and experience happiness in love)

…………….Wish everyone a very happy valentine’s day !!!

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