Tag Archives: corruption

Heads I win, tails you loose…

Team Anna

Jan Lokpal


Team Anna is back again. Just when I thought that there they realised the follies of their ways, back they come again screaming murder. But before I move ahead, let me first state a few things.

1. No MP’s or MLA’s irrespective of which party they belonged to, wants the LokPal bill
2. The LokPal bill will not curb corruption. Good governance will. Lokpal might at maximum (subject to finding an entire team of honest Lokpal officers) be able to catch corruption, but then as we all know punishment is hardly a deterrent for ill-doings. Besides prevention is always better than cure.
3. We need to first decide do we want the Lokpal to curb high-ticket or low-ticket corruption, cause expecting it to do all, will only mean they can do neither. If you expect the baby to run, when the baby is just born you obviously are in for some heartburns
4. To think that CBI is corrupt only cause it has Government interference is simplifying the issue. Every institution in India today has corruption and CBI is no exception. Tomorrow if they free of Government interference, they might still be used by the power of money or any other form of coercion.
5. If the Lokpal Bill does not come, BJP will be winner as it will be a poll issue for them
6. The sense of the house contained 3 items – inclusion of lower bureaucracy, a citizen’s charter and a uniform lokayukta in all states along with having a strong lokpal bill
7. The Government has already passed the citizen’s charter bill (albeit separate but that is different), included the lower bureaucracy and a uniform lokpal clause for all states in the lokpal bill. BJP and TMC opposed the last clause.
8. The last Anna movement was a dismal failure to say the least
9.The Government never ever had the numbers to pass the bill and if the bill did not pass to blame the Government alone is being blind
10. The Government handled the entire show like a fresher instead of a seasoned political party and what even if the Bill did not pass, could have been a brownie point situation for them, turned into the opposite. It was like they scored a goal but sadly in their own goal post

Keeping the idea in mind, let us hear what is Team Anna saying :

Statement 1a. Government failed us. They lied cause they did not keep its promise of sense of the house.
Statement 1b : BJP did not fail us.

Fact : Now if facts are to be placed the sense of the house resolution was actually adopted by the Government, wheras BJP and TMC went against it. But hold a gun to their head, Team Anna will refuse to accept it.

Statement 2a. Government bill was bad – let it not pass.
Statement 2b : At least had the bill passed, we would have had a starting point for discussion.

Fact : If team Anna felt that the bill was so bad, and specially with no Lokayukta clause in it, how would passing of the bill become any good?

Statement 3. The onus of passing the bill lies on the Government

Fact: The Government never had the majority in the Rajya Sabha was well known, so to say that Government could have passed the bill was a blatant misrepresentation of facts. The Government could not have passed any bill which is controversial. Hence it was the onus on the entire parliament to pass the bill.

Statement 4 : Government ensure the Mumbai campaign failed by jamming mobile networks and not allowing autos to come here.

Fact : The only network in Mumbai which did not work on one day was the Airtel one and that too cause the Airtel office had caught fire. Now to imagine the Government would resort to arson to stop the campaign was hilarious. The campaign details were running on the net, on tv channels and every other mobile network. And autos in Mumbai? – Well unless one has never been to Mumbai, one would know that even if God came down and asked, autos in Mumbai will refuse to go to certain destinations, and the venue of the movement was one such destination

Combined with the above and the bizarre reaction by Anna when he got up and left cause he was asked a question against BJP, does go to show one thing – that no matter what the Government would do, Anna team would find fault with them while giving a clean chit to the others. It’s like the game we used to play when we were kids and try and fool the other by saying “Heads I win, tails you loose“…but then now it’s not a game

Again, I have no issues even if the Anna campaign is a BJP campaign. My issue lies with the fact that I am being lied to. If Anna team comes up in the open and says that yes we doing it against the Congress, and they have a right to, I would respect them. But they would not.

In the end, one must always remember corruption is not just about money. Lying and being despotic about power is equal corruption.. Team Anna did a great job bringing the topic of corruption to the forefront but it is time they realised, that people in India are fed up of all forms of corruption – Be it by the Government or Team Anna.

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An interview with Suresh Kalmadi

CommonWealth Games 2010 and Mr Suresh Kalmadi - What a combination

CommonWealth Games 2010 - The fiasco and the men behind it


The last few days have been really hard on poor Mr Kalmadi with the entire world, including his partners in crime from the CWG headquarters coming down heavily on him. Hence like all good scamsters he decided to play the disappearance game and ducked all media hoping that the wind will blow over. But as luck would have it, he ran into our reporter and had no choice but to give this interview. Excerpts of the same :

Reporter : Dear Mr Kalmadi, firstly we thank you for giving us this interview. Please tell us how do you feel about all this backlash which is happening about the games?

Suresh Kalmadi : I am very sad. I worked so hard but instead of appreciating the hard work we put in you guys are all busy making accusations against me. India has let me down completely (Gives a long dejected look)

Reporter : I am sorry did I hear you correct? India has let you down and not the other way round?

Suresh Kalmadi :: Yes.

Reporter : (The reporter is a little stunned, but having heard so many absurd statements in the last few days, that he decided to hold back his amazement) Anyway, Mr Kalmadi to get back to our questions, you had told us a few days back, that the CommonWealth Games would be better than Beijing Olympics. Now seeing the state of affairs what do you have to say for yourself?

Suresh Kalmadi : Well I still say it is better.

Reporter : Better?

Suresh Kalmadi : Yes. You see better is a relative term. For me, what is better, need not be what is better for you. Some people might feel Satyajit Ray’s movies are better than Ramsay films, (the legendary C Grade horror film maker), but I find the opposite. So if I say better, it need not be better as per your standards, but that does not mean it is not better. How can you blame me for having different tastes than you? I strongly protest.

Reporter : (The reporter starts feeling a little dizzy hearing the statement, but then work is work and he continues with the interview). So tell me Mr Kalmadi, what do you have to say for the games Village, which is not in a habitable condition.

Suresh Kalmadi : (Gets Livid) Says Who???????????? When I was given the brief I was told that we need to build a games Village. Do you know I sent my team to every village in India, to understand how a village is like in India, and that is exactly what I rebuilt. Have you not seen villages in India, where stray dogs come inside the home or water leaks from the terrace or there is stagnant water full of mosquitoes? Or that villagers pee anywhere, cause there is no proper latrine system there? So I rebuilt that. Now they come and say they want something else. Tell me where in the brief was it mentioned, that the village has to be UK village. It just village and we thought it was an Indian village and that is what we built. And yet you blame me for it. I just do not understand why we still want this colonial effect? Why can we not have Indian Villages when the games are happening in India?

Reporter : (By now the reporter is really feeling unwell) So you feel that the village is perfect? OK can you tell us what is your explanation for the immense amount of wealth which is said to be wasted for this games.

Suresh Kalmadi : I am sorry but what wealth has been wasted? Do you know we have fixed the bids for all Delhi Government Project for the next 3 years for all products we purchased. Do you realise what that means?

Reporter : Yes it means these vendors can loot the public money for 3 more years?

Suresh Kalmadi : NONSENSE !!!! It means for 3 years the Government does not need to spend any money taking out ads in newspapers, for tenders, for any new purchase. It means the Government does not need to waste its officials to go through tender applications and waste their time and tax payer’s money. It means the Government does not need to to pay anything more when costs of these products increase. Do you realise how much that saves our money? Yes for that we had to pay a little more to buy these products but am sure you will accept in the long run, it is money saving. And you say we squandered money?

Reporter : (By now the reporter is completely dazed and unable to talk) Ah……..mmmmm…so what happens if prices fall and no such need comes up? And what about the allegations that money is being routed through multiple agencies to reach the CWG officials and they are taking the money.

Suresh Kalmadi : Firstly this is a speculation that we will not need such products in future or that the prices might fall and I cannot purchase based on such speculations. Secondly what is this games called? Do you know? Its called common wealth games. What does that mean? It means the wealth is common for all. So what if we took some of the common money? Is it wrong? After all it is common wealth and what is wrong with taking the common wealth which is meant for all? Did we refuse money to anyone? Everyone, cutting across countries and colour of their skin took money. After all we were just living up to the name? And yet we get blamed.

AT THIS STAGE UNFORTUNATELY OUR REPORTER COULD NOT TAKE IT ANYMORE AND FAINTED…and hence we could not bring you balance of the interview. But we will continue to try and track him down to get him to answer other allegations if any, and report the same back to you soon

In the meantime you can follow Suresh Kalamdi on twitter : http://twitter.com/kalmadispeaks

Angry Mother India writes to her children…

Mother India and its state of affairs

Mother India and its state of affairs

Dear Children (Since you call me motherland I guess I can call you children),

Firstly let me tell you that I am nowadays a little irritable, which is understandable at my age. I am thousands of years old. It’s been quite some time since I stopped counting and hence cannot tell you my exact age but it’s been a long time since I was born. Hence my patience level is obviously quite low. On top some of you guys have managed to really make me upset and hence this letter to a lot of you. Also excuse me if I cannot address each one of you by name. I know you my children and mothers should no know each of their kid by name, but having a 1.15 billion kids is no mean task. I am sure you guys will excuse me for that. If not try having 200 kids and remember each one by name. On second thought, leave it (You might just attempt it). So let me start with my letter and the reason for me writing to you guys.

Since we on the topic of billion kids, let me start with that. Tell me something, why do I have a billion kids? I understand children are great and I personally love them a lot. But can you imagine going to labour a billion times? Let me ask you women, can you do it? And you men, how does it matter to you? Just cause you men don’t have to bear the kids and just can enjoy fruits of your labour after birth, you guys don’t care do you? I assure you had this been your fatherland and not motherland you guys would have thought twice. No wonder Germany has not such a huge population cause the men realize the pains of giving birth. So if you guy don’t mind, and if you ladies can explain the pains of labour, can we please first control that. Am tired of giving birth to a baby every second, and honestly its making me more irritable, forget that the labour pain has made me go insane. So please can you control the same?

Now to another topic, which I am intrigued about, more than worried. Did we by any chance really invent the time machine? And for some reason it only goes backwards and not forwards? Else how can you explain that Mahabharata was more modern in terms of women’s lib than Ramayana? Or we abolished the caste system in 1960 but in 2010 you guys’ practice caste based politics. Or the fact that we became secular in 1950 but in 2010 we have politics based on religion. So tell me did we invent it? If so, great news, but can we please correct it so it moves forward to? It’s quite painful reliving history, especially the painful ones, which I thought we migrated from. Please can you check the same and correct it for God’s sake? And if you cannot, at least then stop using it and stay in the Present century and year. Will do you and me a world of good.

There is one more thing which bothers me a lot. Why are you so hell bent in cutting me into pieces? What if I get off and cut off your hand and say hand is more important? Or the leg is more important. Fact is every part of you is important from the hair to the toes. And if am not chopping them off, what makes you think you can chop me off? Next time you think of that, first ampute a part of your body and then let me know how you feel. If you like it, then let us discuss cutting me into pieces

I would like to address my next point to some specific kids of mine – Pramod Muthalik and his Ram Sena, and the moral brigades of India. Firstly sons, how much do you know me that you go defending the “bharatiya sanskriti” or the culture of India? Do you know the Kamasutra was a product of this country? Or have you ever seen the Khajuraho temple? Or did you know the kind of clothes women wore during the olden days, way way before you were born and when I too was much younger? Then what is this that you defending when you tell women what to wear, what not to do, etc? Besides did I ever tell you to defend my culture? If I did not, then why are you harassing them? Honestly speaking I would love to dress the way they do. But alas am old, and I have wrinkles, and hence cannot. But that does not mean my children cannot. So stop telling them what to do or I will have to instruct my children to tell you what to do and trust me you will not like it.

Also back to my other favourite kids – The Thakerays. Tell me something, Bal Thakeray, do you even know that your father was a migrant to Bombay from North India? So technically speaking, you are not a Maharashtrian. Then what gives you the right to beat up my kids from North and tell them they need to go. If I had my Maharashtrian kids throw your father out then, can you imagine what would have happened to you? Actually between you and me, I think I would have been a happier person. And Raj at least if you have branched out, think on your own? You are like the perfect parasite a family should always avoid.

Now back to the children of mine who hurt me the most – The Politicians. I am really not sure why some of you and your ancestors freed me from the British. Honestly speaking at least they hurt me less. They were after all my adopted children who never really accepted me as their motherland. So when they robbed me, it hurt. But you people are my flesh and blood. And to think you guys rob me everyday, and stash away my wealth in Swiss Banks. You do scams after scams, rob my people, divide people and all in the name of doing good. At least my foreign children, admitted they don’t love me. You do and still behave same, if not worse. Honestly all I see is the colour of my rulers have changed. Rest is still the same. Change before the people throw you out too, and throw out they will.

And finally a note to my beloved children – the ordinary citizens of my country. Just what will it take for you to love me, to care for me and to stop ill-treating me? Else how do you justify electing the morons you elect time after time? Or better still avoiding voting, expecting God to do a miracle and change the status of affairs? How do you justify that today we are considered one of the most corrupt nations and you guys complain that things are bad, but are instrumental in making it so? You guys give bribes and then wonder why people ask for them? Is this what makes you proud to be an Indian? Is this the country you or your forefathers freed from the British? I come to you today, to tell you my life and my reputation lies with you. I am angry and as my children can I expect you to do something to change my mood?

On that note, I wish each one of you the very best and hope you guys do something soon

A very angry and old Mother India

An open letter to the prime minister (shareholder to CEO of country)

A letter to the Prime Minister of India Dr Manmohan Singh about the functioning of India

A letter to Dr Manmohan Singh

Dear Mr Prime Minister,

I am writing this letter to you out as I believe that you are the CEO of my country and since I pay my taxes (quite unhappily though), which runs the country I guess that makes me a shareholder and  I feel it gives me a right to bring up certain issues to you. Hence the letter.

I will first start with the functioning of your parliament which I guess is the headquarters of the office you run. I run an organisation here and though am a very relaxed person about rules of attending office on time, etc I cannot in the world imagine how you can have a parliament where your parliamentarians play truant many times and some even 100% of the the time and yet they are allowed to have their job. Better still they get paid for the same. May I know as to how you can spend my money to pay those guys who do not turn up at work? And the ones who do turn up, many of them do not work. I hope you understand that we as citizens pay your salary so you work and not come to the parliament and do nothing? You have a huge percentage of members who have not once whatsoever raised a question in the question hour or done any meaningful work. Yet we seem to keep paying their salaries every month. Honestly its not amazing that the country is in this mess, with such employees. Or should I say its amazing the country is not in worse mess even though it has such employees running the show????????? I do understand that as CEO you have a limited role in some of these cases but at least the employees whom you have brought in, can you not regulate them? And on the same note I would like to add, that I would want you to hire and promote people based only on their expertise and qualifications. I really do not want the first woman President, or the first dalit speaker, or the first sikh prime minister. I just want honest and able people to lead the positions. So if you could kindly refrain from using people’s birth as their qualifications I guess it would do us a world of good.

I would like to bring to your notice another working of your organisation which amazes me. I see many a times that your employees raise the issue of media regulation especially the television. Many times I have heard your information and broadcast minister send notices to television channels about the programs they telecast and the impact they have on children, our society, etc. I mean honestly speaking have your team members ever seen their delinquent behaviour which gets telecast on television daily? Have they ever felt the need to regulate that in regards to the fact that it would spoil the kids or the society. Seeing you guys fight, abuse each other in a place of work, one needs to regulate that channel more than any other channel ever. Why has your minister never brought up that topic? Have they not once thought the kind of impact it would have? Please as CEO can you ask your information and broadcasting minister to first check this telecast before they cast aspersions on others??

The other thing which worries me immensely as a shareholder is the blatant way you guys even in this economy increase your salaries and perks. I do understand that they are the needs and we need to pay you well to function, etc but have you ever calculated the amount of money we spend behind each of your employee? its Rs 2.66 lakhs a month? And time and again you guys increase the same, not once asking the shareholders if they feel like appraising you at all? As CEO of the country, I appreciate you telling the private sector to stop paying the eye popping salaries they pay their employees, but after seeing the salaries you pay your employees, I wonder why the same yard stick is not used to measure your employees?

Mr Prime Minister, I would also like to understand that every year in spite of the dismal performance of the Government I as shareholder have not taken away my faith from this country and moved to another (though honestly that is something which I am very much wondering now) but what have you given me in return? Have we in the last 50 years even made an attempt to improve the selection procedure of the employees we hire? I run an organisation and I ensure I do their background check, check their resume, etc before I even call them for an interview. Yes I too sometimes still choose wrong employees, but you Mr CEO seem to go wrong in the selection process itself. I see no criteria being given to choose your set of probable employees except the fact that they are interested. Also nepotism seems to be the ideal way of choosing the hopeful candidate? Can you please advise me as to why after so many years I still see no improvement in the same and how do you plan to address the issue?

Mr Prime Minister I would also like to talk to you about the various committees successive CEO’s of the country have set up to investigate various and countless crimes done by previous management. When I run my firm, I cannot in the world imagine how I can give a work out without first fixing a budget and a timeframe for the same along with of course the execution plan. But in your company, no matter who is in the helm of affairs the story remains the same. Tell me honestly, do you expect your shareholders to believe it takes 20 years to investigate a crime spending billions of rupees and to give the information which was anycase privy to all? Why may I know are we not changing the system?

The other matter which plagues me a lot is the prizes you decide to confer on sports personalities, namely cricket. Though I do understand that its a very entertaining sport and one which I personally enjoy but I see no reason to give special status to them using my funds in the company while you deprive the others. If you want to spend my money please make it equitable and based on certain criteria, else please do not. I have not invested my money for this.

The other point I would like to understand from you is what is your criterian for breaking the states and making it smaller ones? Is it cause of governance or just cause someone protests? And if it is the latter why not separate out the states which want to leave us? Or is it size matters? States can be separated but not the country? If not, I would like to understand what is the due diligence being done before you or your board take such decisions?

Before I end, Mr Prime Minister I would like to tell you that basically I find you a very able CEO and definitely much much better than any previous management we have had in a long long long time. Hence I felt, that maybe you would try and solve the functioning of this company before its too late and shareholders plan to leave you for other companies. Thus the letter. I do hope that the letter will be received in the right spirit and I hope very soon it will be a pleasure to invest here.

Warm Regards

A small shareholder

WHEN INTO THAT HEAVEN OF FREEDOM, WILL MY FATHER, MY COUNTRY AWAKE?

Today when YSR’s death loomed large over India, the one common comment I heard from a lot of people  is He was a good CM. He did make his money but he did a lot for people and it got me thinking, have we become so immune to corruption that we feel if politcians work for us we can forgive their corruption. Before I proceed further, I would like to make it clear that am not making any aspersion on Mr Reddy and do hope his soul rests in peace. But the fact remains that as common people we are immune to corruption?

There is a common saying in India, that you cannot be in politics if you are not corrupt. And yet every Indian blindly agrees that our PM who is the highest post holder of our democratic system (Presidency is not part of the elected system) is incorruptable. Dr Manmohan even after so many years in office holds the same esteem he held when he started his journey. So doesn’t that mean that if we want we can remain clean even in the most corrupt systems? Then why are so ready to accept corruption in our lives? Why can we not say no matter what good you have done, corruption will not be tolerated?

Corruption isn’t only about money. Corruption can be about power. Our erstwhile US President Mr George Bush was so corrupted that he felt his favourite pastime was to wage wars so that all can say how invincible America is. And so convinced were people that he could save them that many americans voted him back for a second time, forgiving his sins, even though most americans felt he was completely wrong in fighting war specially in Iraq. Thankfully they decided they will say no to his corruption of power and voted the democrats back to power this time and the basic underlying theory behind this presidential election was they said no to corruption – Corruption of power.

Corruption can also be a form of bigotry – something we see so prevalent in India. Yes Mr Modi, our chief minsiter from Gujerat has done a lot for his state and in spite of my sheer disrespect for him I will still accept that and admire it. But does that mean we forgive him for the sheer disrespect he shows to all muslims including justifying the riots? Is development enough to justify that corruption? And if not, then why are we not getting up and saying no matter what good you have done, you are corrupt and I will not vote for you.

And then of course there is corruption of money. Most politcians and bureaucrats in India has money beyond their reasonable means of income and yet we don’t question them. We don’t ask how a LK Advani has such wealth or how a Rahul Gandhi became richer in last 5 years with new shops? We don’t ask how come the police officers have bungalows which are way way beyond their any known source of income. We tolerate it and if they by chance do some good work, we say hey that’s ok. He at least did some good work, as if doing that good work was so unexpected of him. Actually doing any work for which he was getting salary was so unexpected of him.

And of course there is corruption of authority. Our every politician feels they are our Lord and Master. I saw a news the other day where the Rajasthan Govt actually passed an order saying one needs to pay our respect to every MP and MLA who they meet and their were definite guidelines as to what constituted respect. That too is corruption. In a country which is reeling under drought and all politicans find every reason to fight with each other for every reason under the sun, in Karnataka the one bill which got passed without even the slightest of fights was the Bill which increased every politcian’s income by 200% minimum. That too is corruption. For every time that the MPs and MLAs stage a walk out of the parliament and not work, they waste our (the tax payer’s money). That too is corruption. And yet we silently accept it as that is what we are used to.

When will a day come when we say no to corruption? When we get up and say NO MATTER WHAT GOOD YOU DO, I WILL NOT TOLERATE CORRUPTION? When will a day come when we say we wont give bribes, and let me see what you can do? When will a day come when we say we won’t tolerate corruption and will exercise our democratic powers to say no to such corrupt people who stand for elections? When will we realise that politicans and bureacrats doing their work well is nothing great but that is their job and the reason why we elected them and pay their salaries and does not justify corruption. When will the day come “WHEN INTO THAT HEAVEN OF FREEDOM, MY FATHER, WILL MY COUNTRY AWAKE?”

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