Parenting….# 2

My parents

My parents

In my ongoing series of things I learnt from my parents, this is another story….

When you want to be equal, don’t expect privileges…this was something i learnt from my dad.

Once when I was in my plus 2 days, I came home huffing and puffing angry with some nerd who was in the bus who did not get up seeing me though he was sitting in the ladies’ seat

So Baba saw me and asked what happened and of course I vented out my anger as to how that man lacked chivalry, etc etc. It was then Baba said something I will never forget….He asked me “Were you in any problem that you could not stand?” I of course said no. So he said “What would you have done if a woman was sitting there” and I said I would stand like I did. Thats when he asked me “Do you consider yourself any less than the boys you know or men in general”. Now me the ever feminist of course refuted and said how dare you think that way. So he said “then why did you today consider yourself any lesser, that a man had to get up for you to sit down? When you want to be equal you need to FIRST TREAT YOURSELF AS AN EQUAL. You cannot want special privileges and equality at the same time”. Though I did understand what he meant I still egged him on and said “But you always behave so chivalrously. You always open the door, pour the wine, pull out the chair. Why do you do it?” That is when he said “Being chivalrous is my duty and I will remain chivalrous all my life, cause I was taught to be so. But expecting chivalry is your privilege. My duty is not your birthright

SINCE THAT DAY I HAVE NEVER EVER SAT ON A LADIES SEAT IN A BUS, AND NEVER EVER HAVE I IN MY CORPORATE LIFE OR OTHERWISE EVER TOLD ANYONE TO DO ANYTHING SPECIAL FOR ME CAUSE I A WOMAN. That day I learnt that to be equal I first need to treat myself equally.

Also see my other posts on parenting :
https://worldasisee.wordpress.com/2011/02/07/parenting-1/

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Comments

  • Anirbit Dhar  On February 10, 2011 at 6:22 pm

    I have a daughter, who is just five years old and a son 9 months old. But as a parent, I feel that your father has shared with you the worldly wisdom, which every parent should give their children. A confidence, from the very childhood, that will prepare them to become independent, from the day they start walking. The parents’ duty is to guide their children in every turn of the life, till they attain their adulthood and be next to them in their journey supporting their actions and support/disagree with their decisions and provide wise counsel thereafter, as and when required, without being a control freak on the life of a matured individual.

    I love all your pieces. Keep on sharing your beautiful views!
    Cheers!

    • priyashmita  On February 10, 2011 at 6:43 pm

      Thanks a lot.

  • Susan Deborah  On February 11, 2011 at 5:55 pm

    I would definitely like to meet your dad. He seems quite different from the average Indian male.

    Thanks for sharing these beautiful nuggets from your life, dear Priyashmita (can I call you Priya? Your name takes a long time to type and I forget the spelling all the time.)

    Joy always,
    Susan

  • priyashmita  On February 11, 2011 at 6:00 pm

    LOL..feel free to call me priya…

    and thanks..i am on a spree of sharing things i learnt from my parents…

  • Alejandro  On February 23, 2011 at 4:49 pm

    good sound advice and am glad you heard it

    Cheers A

    • priyashmita  On February 23, 2011 at 4:50 pm

      yes i have

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