Monthly Archives: February 2011

My mom….and Facebook…. :)

Ma and her first time experience using Facebook

Ma and her first time experience using Facebook

A few days back I opened a Facebook account for ma. She was wanting to know what is that is so special about it. Now, following is what happened post that (Names of person have been changed to X and Y and the likes to maintain secrecy):

Day 1

Me : So how was your first day on Facebook?

Ma : Good but I had a question?

Me : What?

Ma: Isn’t X and her husband staying with each other anymore?

Me : Of course she is. Why would you get such a stupid idea?

Ma : Oh then why was she telling her husband what she should tell him in the realms of her bedroom, in the public space for all of us to see?

Me : Cause that is the new age love ma.

Ma : So the new age love means discussing your bedroom secrets in public?

Me : Yes ma…

Ma : Oh !!!

Day 2

Me : So how was your second day with Facebook?

Ma : I want to delete Y from my profile. He is a sadist and not my friend.

Me : Ha !! What did he do?

Ma : I wrote today on my wall “I am not feeling well” and he went and liked that comment. I thought he was a friend, but he is a sadist and no friend of mine.

Me : No ma. He is. Liking, is the Facebook language which interpreted in your language, means he does not like you having fever.

Ma : Ha ??

Me : Leave it. It does not make sense to me either.

Ma : Oh !!!

Day 3

Ma : What kind of a friend of yours is Z?

Me : Why?

Ma : He sent me a heart which had some romantic message on it, today. I did not know how to react, so I deleted it, but he needs to know he cannot send me such things. He is old enough to be my son?

Me : LOL. Ma he was not sending you his love. He was playing a game

Ma: A game?

Me : Ya. If you had accepted the heart you would have moved one step closer to solving a jigsaw puzzle. Currently I own 115 hearts and on level 16.

Ma : Oh !!!!

Day 4

Ma : Who is this A? Does he have no manners?

Me : He is a friend of Cousin B. What did he do?

Ma : He has no manners. He does not know me and even if he did, does he not know he should not go poking ladies? Today when I logged in, I saw an alert that A has poked me. Had he been in front of me, I would have whacked him. Rude, insolent urchin.

Me : Ma !!! He was just saying Hi to you…

Ma : Hi to me? By poking me?

Me : Yes ma, that’s the Facebook language of Hi.

Ma : Oh !!!!!

Day 5

Ma : I have new follower today for my blog, a Mr J who uses “Networked Blogs”

Me : Congratulations !!

Ma : He said he liked my blog and is following it and has asked me to follow him back in his blog

Me : So do so.

Ma : But isn’t it the norm to follow blogs when you like them and plan to keep reading them?

Me : Yes, so?

Ma : No, just that his blog is in Spanish, and mine is in Bengali? So……

Me : Oh !!!!!

Day 6

Me : Ma, why have you written in your FaceBook wall that you are going to the loo?

Ma : Well I was seeing everyone updating their every move every minute. And after you told me everything is today’s Facebook way of life, I thought I had to update every minute of my life there. And today I did nothing which I could update about, so when I went to the loo, I thought let me update that? Why? What happened?

Me : Ma !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Day 7

Me : So how has been your experience so far in Facebook?

Ma : Well I learnt that whatever I have learnt so far in my little over of 50 years of life is all trash.

Me : Meaning?

Ma : Well for starters I learnt that it’s ok to go poking ladies you have never ever met and its considered fine. I learnt it’s ok to talk about your bedroom details in public or wash your dirty linen in full view of others, and its not considered crass. You can be a sadist and enjoy your friend’s misery and you are still considered a friend. We were taught as kids never to talk to strangers but here we can merrily add strangers as friends and never knowing who they really are. The phrase “You scratch my back and I scratch yours” has now changed to “You follow my blog and I will follow yours”. Must say in 7 days I never learnt so much as I learnt via Facebook.

Me : So you continuing?

Ma : Hell No. I am 50+. I don’t think I can handle so much of unlearning at this age. I will go delete my profile tomorrow.

Needless to say, contrary to all her misgivings, its been nearly a month and ma is merrily continuing on Facebook. having learnt all the Facebook language and nuances, and I suspect quite enjoying the ride. Guess end of the day, that is the pull of Facebook….

PS : This is part fiction and part reality

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Parenting….#5

My Parents

My Parents

In my series of things I learnt from my parents this is another incident.

I was brought up in a family which was not really very religious. We never had any room for God or any idol of God anywhere in the home. I rarely saw my parents pray and even if they did it was in the privacy of their rooms and not something which others were privy to. However I studied in a convent school like both my parents. Now in a convent school prayers and God play a very essential role. So as a kid, I was not sure what I was supposed to do. Pray or not pray. My parents of course never told me not to do anything, and the firm rule till I was in school was “Your school and teachers are above all, including them, and always right. So do what they say“. So obviously prayers and all were something I did get used to. But this was an incident which happened way before, I actually became influenced into prayers by school (Ideally that happened to all of us when we turned 8 when we started going to the school assembly)

One day, I remember coming home from school, when I was about 7 years old, and I asked my parents “Does God give you things if You pray to Him and does not if you don’t? So that is when my parents introduced me for the first time the concept of God prayers and said this “We do not know if God always answers your prayers if you pray to Him. But we do know one thing, if you are good and always do the right thing, God will grant you what you want, and if you don’t no matter how much you pray, God will never listen. So the best prayer to God is always be a good human being first and then God will always listen to you”

That day I learnt the true meaning of praying to God and loving God – something, which when I see the world today fighting over religion, wish they had learnt too

I wish I could write….

Some of the writings of blogs I admired

A tribute to some other bloggers

I wish I could write…then I would make you all laugh and roll on the floor like Sulekha did when she wrote about Chastity Garters and Miracle Bras……….but I cannot

I wish I could write…then I would show the world how priceless my every gift is like Sukanya did when she wrote Gifted…..but I cannot

If wish I could write…then I would give a beautiful homage to my fellow bloggers like Kriti did when she wrote Blog Trotting…but I cannot

I wish I could write…then I would move everyone to tears with this ode to a friend, the way Joslyne moves me to tears with this piece The Healing Blanket…but I cannot

I wish I could write….then I would make my everyday look like a laugh riot like Ron who brings a smile to my face even when I am sad, with his writings, like when he wrote this piece How was your week?…but I cannot

I wish I could write…then I would leave a haunting memory with my every piece like Rimly did when she wrote Chance Encounter….but I cannot

I wish I could write…then I would write about love as easily as Alpana wrote when she spoke about Love…but I cannot

I wish I could write…then I would make lyrics with my words like Vani did when she wrote Choo Gaya….but I cannot

I wish I could write…..then I would write poetry so fluid like Ma did when she wrote Ekhono meye chotto aachish.….but I cannot

Hence I ramble on with my words and write what I can…..hoping some day THAT EVEN I CAN WRITE

(PS : Am unable to include two pieces here as they do not have a blog – An awesome piece by my friend Rumpa on Delhi which had me in splits, and a very inspiring professional piece by Swati. Hope someday I can get them to have a blog of their own too)

The story of the cheating spouse….

Nemesis and the broken heart

Nemesis and the broken heart

A few days back I was having a chat with a very close friend of mine about love and betrayal. She was telling me about a close friend of hers who was recently going through a messy break-up with her husband cheating on her with her best friend. She was telling me about how her friend is going through a major crisis and low self-esteem cause of this, and how was she repeatedly asking herself, “where did i go wrong?”. What made matters worse was the in-laws going around and telling everyone that the fault lay with the girl, as she could not hold her husband back (I always wonder about these statements made, but that is a story for another day).

Hearing the entire story, I somehow was left complete confused. Here is the way I saw the problem :

The girl had a husband who turned out to be a cheater and a piece of work and who never loved her
The girl had in-laws who turned out to be the worst kind of in-laws any girl can ask for.

She lost them

The guy had a wife who loved him, dearly enough to cry even now, knowing what a piece of work he is

He lost her

So, can someone explain how the girl was the loser? As far as I see, she came out of the clutches of some of the worst people, she could ever be with and a life with a husband who did not love her, and the husband came out losing the woman who loved him to death. As far as I see isn’t it the man who is the loser and should be asking himself “why me?”, and not the other way round.

And, as far as the friend was concerned, I see it this way, she loves her friend a lot and so took away all her pain for herself, since now she has to live with this piece of shit….and trust me, if a man cheats once, he will cheat again, and imagine living with such a person for the rest of your life.

Correct me, if am wrong, but can there be any greater nemesis than this?

(PS: My theory would have been the same had it been a wife cheating on the husband)

Conversations with my Ma…# 3

Ma and me

Ma and me

This is my third post on my ongoing series of conversations with my mom…

Now I have this firm belief that parents should always praise their kids, in front of outsiders, even if its blatant lies. Now Ma has no such intentions as for her honesty comes above all. Fine enough but she takes this love of telling people about me to another level altogether. Tell her anything under the sun and Ma can relate it back to me and how useless I am at home. Its like an “Association game”. Say anything and Ma can start her complaints about me :). You don’t believe. Sample these….

Conversation 1 :

Guest : You have a lovely home

Ma : Thank You

Guest : It must be quite a effort you put in to keep it so lovely

Ma : Of course, wish my daughter also appreciated the effort and helped me in keeping the home clean. But she takes exactly 10 minutes to dirty everything, after she is back from office.

Me : Ma??????????????

Ma : What? Am I lying????

END OF CONVERSATION

Conversation 2 :

Guest : How do you spend your days here in Bangalore, now that you have shifted from Calcutta?

Ma : Oh I read,I write, I have friends whom I meet from time to time, I go out and then managing this home also takes a lot of my time

Guest : I can see that. Your house is so clean. It must be a major task keeping it so spic and span and must keep you quite busy.

Ma : Thank you so much. And yes it is. And my daughter ensures that I have no free time all day, lest I get bored. You see I will clean everything and she will take exactly 10 minutes to dirty everything ensuring I have to repeat the entire task again. Thanks to her I can never ever feel bored

Me : Ma??????????????

Ma : What? I am praising you and saying how you are always so thoughtful

END OF CONVERSATION

Conversation 3 :

Guest : Hey tell me something, I just saw all the lovely brass items and the crystals. How long does it take to clean them?

Ma : Oh I spend at least an hour and a half cleaning them daily and then I polish them weekly too. Takes quite a bit of time. Of Course it takes my lovely daughter less than 10 minutes to dirty them again

Me : Ma??????????????

Ma : What? Nowadays it takes you lesser time is it?

END OF CONVERSATION

My home

My home


PS : This is a picture of a part of my home. Between You and me, I do know the efforts taken to keep it this lovely

Conversations with my Ma…# 2

Ma and me

Ma and me

This is the second posting on the ongoing series of conversations with my Mom.

Now usually if am travelling out of my city, I prefer staying in hotels. Being a house-guest is something I preferably avoid as its too much work – you know I have to be on my best behaviour and all? Anyway, there are times when either cause I have been invited or cause if I do not stay with someone it becomes a sticky issue (This is India, and such things play a huge role). Anyway if I ever have to stay as a house-guest, ma goes through those anxiety pangs where she feels if her daughter stays somewhere, the truth of how useless her daughter is will come out (somehow I am unable to convince her that no one expects me to be useful around the house at all, and if they still invite me its at their own risk :P). Anyway, so before any trip Ma usually runs the following do’s and don’ts with me, just before I am leaving. Following is the sample of such a conversation…

Ma : You will be staying with people, so please do not let them realise that you are a slob.

Me : Yes ma, but you know that they do know it, right?

Ma : (ignoring my statement as always) So do you promise to make your own bed every morning before you get out of the rooom?

Me : Yes ma – Check !!

Ma : Will you ensure that after food, you clean your own dishes and try and help them cleaning their’s too?

Me : Yes ma – Check !!

Ma : And please keep your clothes neat and clean and not lying around the room.

Me : Yes ma – Check !!

Me : And do you promise to help people in the kitchen when you are at home and not order people around?

Me : Yes Ma – Check !!

Ma : SO THAT MEANS YOU CAN DO EVERYTHING AROUND THE HOUSE BUT YOU WON’T IN YOUR OWN HOME. WHY? CAUSE YOU HAVE AN UNPAID SERVANT AT HOME CALLED YOUR MOTHER?

Me : D-u-h..d-u-h…ahhh….Ma I am going to miss the flight!!! Bye Ma. See you soon Ma..

AND SCOOT !!!!

END OF CONVERSATION

Conversations with my Ma…# 1

Ma and Me

Ma and Me

Along with my ongoing series about “Parenting” and things I learnt from my parents, starting today I am going ahead with a series on things I do not like about my parents… :).

Now I am perfect is an accepted fact. But then there are certain things I do not like to do. Please note the catchphrase here is “do not like to do” and not “that I cannot do” (hello am perfect and I can do everything). So one of those things which I do not like to do is cleaning my room. Ma on the other hand (and so was Baba), loves everything perfect. It’s like even at 4 am she wants the home to look like some guest will enter any minute. Nevertheless its a regular fight between us. So one day, I come home and Ma is livid at me. Here is a sample of the conversation we had :

Me : Are you upset? (I know she is cause her face is stern and she is not talking to me)

Ma: Yes

Me: Why?

Ma: Am I your maidservant? And that too an unpaid one?

Me: Is that a question which demands an answer from me? (somehow I know whatever I say, it will land me in trouble)

Ma: (Completely ignoring my question) Do you know, I work the entire day to keep this home spic and span and how long does it take for you to dirty everything? Go to your room and see. Everyday I clean this house and you come back and in 10 minutes you manage to make the entire home look like a shit-hole (Read: entire room is just my bedroom where no one ever enters and God knows how it would matter if it is in a mess)

Me : OK…so you cleaned it up. So why you angry?

Ma: Well I thought I potty-trained you when you were two. I was not aware that even at this age I had to go clean the shit my daughter makes. Hence I am angry…

END OF CONVERSATION…

Starting a new Series called “Conversations with Ma/Baba”

My Parents

My Parents

Now some of you guys have reading my posts got this weird idea that my parents are like awesome and you know how lucky I am that they are my parents. Now let’s first set the record straight. Their biggest achievement till date has been that they had me as their daughter – a perfect embodiment of everything sugar and spice and everything nice 🙂
(This is of course withstanding the fact that my dad was awfully talented whose artwork is still admired, whose english was so good that even lawyers would come to him to make him draft their letters, he could paint, he could draw, was an awesome cook, etc and my ma is a fantastic cook to the extent that she can make her own recipes and anyone who eats her food tells her to open restaurants, she can write poems which has got even published, she is a super duper interior decorator and has been called by people to decorate their homes, etc)

So starting today I will start a new series, which will go alongside my “Parenting” series as to how mean and horrible my parents are called “Conversations with Ma” and “Conversations with Baba” and how they basically its me who makes them great…. 😛

Karva Chauth for George Clooney

George Clooney

George Clooney

This entire Valentine’s day everyone asked me what was I doing for George Clooney. Now I was tired of telling all that for 4 years after what I did for Mr Clooney its time he did something for me.

So all will ask me what have I done for him? Well do you know I have done Karva Chauth for him for 4 years now? (For all people who do not know what Karva Chauth is, its a fast Indian women do for their husbands or would be husbands for their well being. They go without food and water an entire day and break their fast after seeing the moon)

Now of course since its ME doing Karva Chauth, there has to be a slight twist to it, right? So this is the way I do it. SINCE HE IN THE USA I DO IT DURING US TIME ZONES …so post dinner i eat nothing and drink nothing..till next day breakfast..YOU GUYS HAVE NO CLUE HOW TOUGH IT IS…oooooofffffff…IT IS SUPER DUPER ARDUOUS JOB…helloooo did I hear someone say this is no Karva Chauth? Dear if our BPO firms can call up people in USA and say “Good morning” in the middle of our night, or call their dinner as lunch in keeping in tandem with US time zones, then why can I not do Karva Chauth in US time zones? Pray tell me why? You cannot cause what I am doing is completely right 😛

Of Course I know there are still some of you complete disbelievers who will want to run me down and say where is the moon for me to break my fast? Well dear, for that I have Google to thank for. You want to see the moon in Hollywood and boom you get the moon. So before I break my night-long tough fast, all I do is go to Google and view the moon in Hollywood, and then his picture and take my first sip of water after a night long of no food and water….AND I AM DOING THIS RELIGIOUSLY FOR THE LAST 4 YEARS WITHOUT A BREAK 😛

NOW TELL ME IS THERE ANYONE WHO CAN CLAIM TO LOVE GEORGE CLOONEY MORE THAN ME OR WHO DESERVES HIM MORE THAN ME?

How to make him love you….

Happy Valentine's day

How to make a man fall in love with you

Now that Valentine’s day is round the corner, the entire world is busy trying to figure out how to get that special person to say yes to them. Of course the magazines and television channels are full of ideas of how to hook that perfect man for yourself. Now I had gone online to search for some valentine’s day ideas for gifts but type out valentine’s day and the only results which popped out are “10 way to make a man fall in love”, “90 minutes to fall in love”, “5 ways to attract him”, etc etc. Now honestly what hooked me was the 90 minute theory…I mean really 90 minutes? Intrigued I opened the post and thereon got hooked to all the posts. So here is a synopsis on what I read and of course my take on it (you expected a synopsis without that?)….

Rule 1 : Cross his path Unexpectedly – Now according to theory, a man loves seeing a woman when he is not expecting it. So try and meet him at unexpected places, when he is least expecting you. Drop in at the cafe he visits every Tuesday, or the bar he goes every Friday, or the bowling alley he goes to every Sunday. Now of course, you will want to know how do I know when he does all this? Simple – Just stalk him. Now even if this does not land you the man, it sure can land you a restraining order and a prison sentence, but what the hell – what is love without such simple sacrifices of going to jail. Right?

Rule 2 : Repeat his name often while talking to him – So basically the more number of times you mention his name, in a sentence, more the chances of him flipping for you. For example if I meet George Clooney, this is what I will say to make him fall in love with me. “Hey George, would you George, like to have a cup of coffee with me George, or maybe George we could have dinner instead, or George is there something else you would want to do George?… What George? ..You don’t want to George?… But why George? …Oh cause I am calling your name George so many times George? But George in that magazine, George. they said more times I mention your name George, more the chances of you falling in love with me…Oh George but all I did was follow the rules George…Oh George don’t leave me George..I am not mad George…..“………….And by then sadly George is gone and chances are will never see you again

Rule 3: Whisper things in his ears– Now according to the magazine, a man gets turned on and attracted to you if you whisper things which will turn him on. The magazines go on to give examples of things you can say and one of them is “Let’s go somewhere right now, cause after 12 I turn into a vixen”. Now according to the English Dictionary, a vixen means either a fox or a woman who is quarrelsome, shrewish and generally malicious. So basically you are trying to tell the man that if he takes you somewhere he might just end up with a lady who will start fighting with him in the middle of the night, tear his hair out and generally scare the living daylights out of him. So chances are once you use this line on a man and the man has any knowledge of English he would run for his life. But then so what? You can keep trying till you find a man who does not know the language…

Rule 4: Be like him – This rule was one of the funniest I read more so for the example it gave. This was one of the exact sentences given there “Mirror neurons respond to sounds as well, so experiment with matching your cadence and tone to his. For example, if he speaks faster than you do, accelerate your tempo a bit”. Basically what its trying to tell you is say your man has a south Indian accent you imitate him and start speaking with that accent, or if he has a loud voice you start screaming with him when you out, or if he has an itch which he is scratching well you start scratching yourself too right in front of him. Now the little I understand of men I assume they will feel highly turned off and insulted if you copy them so, but then who am I to compete with such high level scientists who have expounded this theory (Yes, all these theories have bee arrives at after paying a fortune to some scientists who spend their lifetime experimenting with such things to help you land that perfect man). So go ahead and try this. What is the worst that might happen? He might leave you and never see you again? Well so what? Try till you meet a dumb-ass who will actually like this?

Rule 5 : Be yourself – Now this is the best rule of all. After you go through all the points where they have taught you that the only a way a man can love is by becoming dumb, putting on loads of make up which make you believe beauty lies in the outside, by pretending to be someone else, they finally come up with the bummer punchline – BE YOURSELF. And remember this is always the last rule they write. Its like the “terms and conditions” you read in a contest which is written in the fine print, which is always exactly the opposite of what the contest advertises. So basically after you have read all the rules and finally decided that yes you will against all your better senses become a conniving, pretentious witch , they tell you that DO NOT FOLLOW OUR RULES. At this stage you have just one thing left to do…GET UP AND SCREAM AND CHANCES ARE THAT YOU WILL DO

So here is what I say – If you need rules to make a man fall in love with you, you are actually fooling yourself if you believe, that the man will actually fall in love with you, or remain in love with you. I mean if you actually need a book, to tell you how to make a man love you, lady,you have taken the fun of falling in love and made it into a business transaction. SO REMEMBER THIS MOST IMPORTANT RULE, THIS VALENTINE’S DAY. DON’T FOLLOW ANY RULE. If the man is dumb enough NOT to fall in love with you, as you are, minus these strategies, you don’t need that man. So cut the rules, and enjoy falling in love just the way is was meant to be – PURE AND UNADULTERATED AND ABSOLUTE FUN…

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY TO ALL…

Parenting….#4

My parents

My parents

In my series of things I learnt from my parents this is another incident.

The one thing about parents is that its not something they teach you when you were a kid, they often teach you things even when you are an adult, maybe not so much as telling you things, but through their actions. One such incident happened with me some time back with my mother.

Very rarely in my adult life has it happened that my parents have not approved a decision of mine, but some years back I took a decision which my mother felt was a very tough road I chose for myself. She was of the opinion, that being so arduous, it was best avoided as being a concerned mother she did not want me to adopt a life which was hard. Of course in my home, we always voice opinions but not necessarily impose ourselves on someone. However in this case her opinion was so strong that it was quite a surprise. Anyway I still decided to adopt the path I took, as I felt that was the right thing to do. But I did not try and change her mind, as I felt she was right in her views as a concerned parent.

Life carried on, and we both avoided discussing this topic knowing how strongly we both felt about it. As predicted the journey I took was tough, but never did I tell anything to anyone. But over a period of time, I suddenly found her warming upto my decision and opening upto it. There was no reason which had prompted that, as the road I was trudging on was still quite the difficult one. So seeing this change I spoke to a very close friend of mine, who was the only one privy to the difficulties I faced in the path I took, and ma’s reservations. He was also very close to my mom, and so I asked him one day as to why ma suddenly changed her stance and was he an influencing factor. He said he had no role to play, but he would definitely speak to ma and try and gauge why she changed her stance.

After speaking to my mom, my friend came and told me what ma said and this is what she told him. “I know the path my daughter has chosen is tough. I know she will never complain, and I feel its a wrong choice cause its a path which would have a lot of tough obstacles on the way. But I also know, that that is what she wants and what will make her happy, and she will not change her mind cause its against her principles. The least I can do for her as her mother is support her, and try and make the journey a little less difficult. When she comes home, I don’t want her to think she has another battle to fight, in trying to convince her mother. If I am proven right, and my fears of the path being unbearable is true, its going to be the cost of my daughter’s happiness and I would rather I be proven wrong. That’s why I thought let me support her and pray she is right. And if God-forbid she is wrong, at least she won’t have a mother who will tell her ‘I told you so’ but would rather be with her and say its ok, we can surpass this. I want her to know that I am there, even if she is wrong not to judge her but to support her”.

Since I have moved to Bangalore, I have seen parents of my friends for whom their ego surpasses all barriers. They would force their decisions on their kids in the name of ego, past sacrifices done for their kids, how they know best or even society. And if by some miracle the kid, still manages to take a decision against his /her parents, and god forbid he/she fails, the instant reaction of parents is “I told you so” not once realising that their victory was at the cost of the kid’s happiness. That day I realised how lucky I was to have my parents, for whom my happiness was much more important than them coming right

That day I again realised how lucky I am to have my parents. They are not God but they are just what God meant them to be – Parents

My earlier posts on Parenting https://worldasisee.wordpress.com/2011/02/11/parenting-3/

……….and they lived happily everafter

Fairy Tale Romance

...And they lived happily ever after

(This was a piece I was asked to submit for another blog where am a guest writer http://wehaveastory.blogspot.com)

I have been struggling for over 24 hours to write this post on love and romance. I have written and re-written this piece a thousand times and yet nothing somehow seemed to pull that tug at the heart which all love stories do. What is it about love that has not already been written about? What is it about love that has not already been discussed a thousand times? I read a thousand articles to try and get some inspiration about this but somehow nothing clicked. I was just not feeling the way, a person who writes about love, feels. Dejected and lost, I felt maybe I had the lost the ability to feel love, and gave up the idea of submitting this article and went to bed.

And in bed, I suddenly smiled cause I saw the calendar and the date which signaled that Valentine’s day was coming and I smiled. I smiled cause I suddenly remembered about the love I have experienced and that is when I realised why I was not feeling inspired. When I was going through the myriad of articles on love and romance, somewhere every article had a bit of pain in it and I could not feel that pain. Even the ones, where one spoke of finding a soulmate, somehow there was this subtle hint of pain of loving someone so much that it hurt them. It was somehow like love was incomplete without pain. But then my love always made my smile. And that is when I got up and decided to pen down my thoughts.

I have been in love and I am in love. I have been broken-hearted too. Yet love to me has been the most beautiful feeling of all times. When I fell in love, did I not know that there would be thorns along with the roses? The answer was no, I did not. I felt love would be like a fairy tale romance but sadly life is not a fairy tale – its checkered with problems, fights, misunderstandings. But love is when you fairy tale romance in spite of this and I have.. And I have found my fairy tales in spite of being broken hearted more than once.

Now that I look back, I wonder, would my life have been this wonderful, had I not been changed by a man to become this epitome of positivity? Would I have conquered every battle, had I not had the strength of my love with me? Would the feeling of success had been same had I not had my love as wind beneath my wings? Would that dark period when I thought life was over, been surpassed had there been not been my love, standing there between me and my pain, to be the punching bag at all times? Would any valentine’s day be as much as fun, as I had when I ended up in a roadside dhaba to celebrate it, had it not been for the company of a wonderful man? Would life have been different had I not known that there is one man, for whom no matter what the world starts and ends with me? The answer is YES.

I have fallen in love twice. Both times with wonderful men. If my first love taught me to be strong and independent, the second man taught me that even if I cry, he is there to wipe it for me. If my first love taught me how to fall in love for the first time, my second love taught me how to stay in love forever. If my first love taught me how to make end every fight with a laugh, my second love taught me how to love even when angry. But most importantly what both men taught me is to love with all my heart and to be happy in love – happy that it happened, happy that I experienced a wonderful feeling called love.

So has my love life been all fun and laughter? The answer is No. I have had my dark clouds and broken hearts. But there is one thing life has taught me. It’s very easy to fall in love, much more easier to fall out of it, what is tough is to love someone happily in spite of everything. And when you can find that love, you will find your fairy tale in your imperfect love story, exactly like I did. A love story which might not give a tug to your heart, but will definitely make you smile, everytime you think about it.

So next time you think about love – think about happy times and not the sad, think about the laughter and not the tears, think about feeling of falling in love and not the feeling of hurt and you never know maybe someday you too will find your fairytale and your happily everafter story. I know I have.

And always remember it isn’t love if it did not make you smile.

I will end this with lyrics from my favourite Tagore song which epitomises how I have always felt about love :

Sakhi, bhabona kahare bole?
Sakhi, jatona kahare bole?
Tomra je bolo diboso-rajoni,
Bhalobasha, bhalobasha.
sakhi, bhalobasha kare koye?
Seki keboli jatona-moye?
Seki keboli chokher jal?
Seki keboli dukher saas?
Loke tobe kore ki sukheri tore,
Aemon dukhero aas?
Aamar chokhe to shokoli sobhon,
Shokoli nobeen, shokoli bimol.
Suneel akash, shyamolo kanon
Bishodo jochona, kusumo komol.
Shokol amari moton.
Tara keboli hanshe, keboli gaye,
Hanshiya, kheliya morite chaye.
Najane bedon, najane radon.
Najane shader jatona joton.
Phool se hanshite hanshite jhore,
Jochona hanshiya milaye jaye,
Hanshite hanshite alok sagore,
Akashero taara teyage kaaye.
Aamar moton sukhi ke aache?
Aaye sakhi aaye, aamar kaache
Sukhi hridoyer sukher gaan
Suniya toder judaabe pran
Protidin jodi kandibi keno,
Ek din noye hanshibi tora,
Ek din noye bishado bhuliya,
Shokole miliya gahibo gaan.

(translated it means why is all love stories so sad, and if they are why do people want to fall in love? I am happy and for me love is happiness. So why don’t you give up being unhappy and come with me and experience happiness in love)

…………….Wish everyone a very happy valentine’s day !!!

Parenting…#3

My parents

My parents

This is my third article on parenting. This was an incident which happened with me when I was in College. At that point I felt it was funny and my dad was cool. But today when I see many of my friends and associates having a strange relationship with their parents where the parents do not know what the kids do, who they meet, or the fact that kids drink and smoke to glory but at home pretend to be all saintly, I realise what I had got from my parents. A trust which is so rare today among parents and kids. Both my parents had a rule for me that there should be nothing they hear about me from someone else, and today I realise the worth of that trust. This incident was one of the few examples of the trust my parents always had in me, and touch-wood always will.

Well you know how it is in India..a boy and a girl are seen out together and immediately tongues start wagging….now i had a lot of male friends in college…there was no other choice as there were 45 boys and 5 girls in each specialisation..anyway nevertheless fact is i had loads of male friends…and of course when i bunked classes i used to go out with them…

Now one day a neighbour saw me with a male friend in a crowded mall area…and promptly in the evening when he saw my dad he went and told him..”today i saw your daugher in this area…SHE WAS WITH A BOY” (with a lot of emphasis on the boy part). So my dad looked at him and shook his hands and said and this is quote unquote my dad “Thank you so much for telling me this. I was always worried my daughter has become invisible and people cannot see her. Thanks for telling me she can be seen. Next time when you see her go and say Hi. That way you will clear one more myth I have that my daughter can even talk when she is outside?”….

LOL…you should have seen the look on the neighbour’s face…never again did he try and tell my dad anything about me again 🙂

That day this incident seemed funny to me but today when I look back I realise what amount of trust and faith and liberty was given to me, something now nearly a decade after college I still find lacking in parents of many of my friends.

Parenting….# 2

My parents

My parents

In my ongoing series of things I learnt from my parents, this is another story….

When you want to be equal, don’t expect privileges…this was something i learnt from my dad.

Once when I was in my plus 2 days, I came home huffing and puffing angry with some nerd who was in the bus who did not get up seeing me though he was sitting in the ladies’ seat

So Baba saw me and asked what happened and of course I vented out my anger as to how that man lacked chivalry, etc etc. It was then Baba said something I will never forget….He asked me “Were you in any problem that you could not stand?” I of course said no. So he said “What would you have done if a woman was sitting there” and I said I would stand like I did. Thats when he asked me “Do you consider yourself any less than the boys you know or men in general”. Now me the ever feminist of course refuted and said how dare you think that way. So he said “then why did you today consider yourself any lesser, that a man had to get up for you to sit down? When you want to be equal you need to FIRST TREAT YOURSELF AS AN EQUAL. You cannot want special privileges and equality at the same time”. Though I did understand what he meant I still egged him on and said “But you always behave so chivalrously. You always open the door, pour the wine, pull out the chair. Why do you do it?” That is when he said “Being chivalrous is my duty and I will remain chivalrous all my life, cause I was taught to be so. But expecting chivalry is your privilege. My duty is not your birthright

SINCE THAT DAY I HAVE NEVER EVER SAT ON A LADIES SEAT IN A BUS, AND NEVER EVER HAVE I IN MY CORPORATE LIFE OR OTHERWISE EVER TOLD ANYONE TO DO ANYTHING SPECIAL FOR ME CAUSE I A WOMAN. That day I learnt that to be equal I first need to treat myself equally.

Also see my other posts on parenting :
https://worldasisee.wordpress.com/2011/02/07/parenting-1/

Parenting….# 1

My parents

Since I have moved to Bangalore, the one thing which amazes me here is the amount of control parents have on kids and this cuts across all ages and its amazing. I have been touch-wood very lucky to have extremely understanding and liberal parents, who have not only given me the freedom to choose my life and make my own mistakes, but have stood by me through thick and thin. Its not like I have not reprimanded when I make mistakes (which of course me being perfect is rare :P) but then I have been allowed to lead my own life, find my own destiny and become my own person cause of them.

Before I start I would like to make one thing clear – my parents were not God. They never wanted me to believe they were. They always believed they were humans and I should treat them that way. They made their share of mistakes and their share of right things too, but in every way the one thing they never failed to do was to tell me that they were there always and for them my happiness was above all.

Anyway, so today I will start this series which will talk of the various things they taught me or told me or did for me, which made the person I am…some are funny incidents, some are their teachings, some are things they did for me which taught me something…..and someday when am married and have kids of my own, I hope I can teach them these very things too. This is in my own way, my tribute to my parents….

When i turned 18 baba and ma wished me and this is exactly what they told me…They said “today you are 18 and officially an adult. From today onwards you are free to take your own decisions and lead your life your own way. We feel as parents we have brought you up with the right value system and we feel you can take your own decisions correctly. As parents we will always reserve the right to tell you how we feel about your actions and comment on them and also try and guide you but the END DECISION HAS TO BE YOURS. But remember one thing that with every decision comes responsibility. You cannot take decisions and then come running to us when things go wrong. You have to solve them yourself and bear the responsibility yourself. You cannot blame others for things if they go wrong. If you take a wrong decision remember you have to feel the pain. Similarly if you take a right one you will feel the joy. Both are yours. As parents we assure you we will always be with you, in the good and the bad. So lead your life your way and we both believe that you will never ever misuse the freedom we give you or else we will know that we are unsuccessful in bringing you up properly”

Till date I have never forgotten this education and something I plan to impart to my kids, when I have them. Today when I see parents who control every breath of their kid, I realise the value of the freedom and responsibility my parents gave me and the value of what they told me when I turned 18……

Also see my other posts on parenting :
https://worldasisee.wordpress.com/2011/02/08/parenting-2/

My take on life in one sentence..

Since I know one of these days I will become very famous and that’s when you would like to post famous comments made by me in your various profiles…here is a few from me to help you get started 🙂

# Why is such a big deal made about a man and a woman spending a night together…is there anything they can do in the night which they cannot during the day?

# I never ever forget to appreciate God….after all how can I not appreciate Him for the commendable job he did in creating a pure perfection like me?

# Love me for a reason and let the reason be love..I on the other hand will love you for your fame and fortune always 🙂

# Don’t put off your work until tomorrow believing tomorrow never comes..CAUSE SADLY THE DAY AFTER TODAY ALWAYS COMES..and you have to work

………………… more coming up soon

Watch will survive…I Won’t

rolex watch

rolex

Was just viewing this rolex watch (picture alongside) and among its many features one of them was will survive under 330 feet of water.

Point to Ponder : Will I survive under 330 feet of water and if I don’t how will I know if the watch did or not?

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