How many scams must the IPL have before they call for a ban…The answer my friend is blowing in the wind

The scam they called IPL

The scam they called IPL

On 26th of April the Governing council for IPL met to discuss the fate of the game and Mr Lalit Modi. Following is an imaginary representation of that meeting.

(Players – Shashank Manohar,Arun Jaitley, Inderjit Singh Bindra, BCCI treasurer M.P. Pandove, vice presidents Chirayu Amin, Rajeev Shukla, Board secretary N. Srinivasan, joint secretary Sanjay Jagdale, Jammu and Kashmir Cricket Association chief Farooq Abdullah, IPL vice-chairman Niranjan Shah and former India captains Ravi Shastri, Sunil Gavaskar and Mansoor Ali Khan Pataudi
Absent Player but hero cum villian – Lalit Modi
Absolutely absent gullible idiots – The general public)

Scene I : 10 AM Governing Council Meeting (Scene opens with Mr Jaitley reading out the allegations against Mr Modi)

Arun Jaitley : Friends, IPL governing members and fellow scamsters, Lend me your ears. We have come here to bury Modi, not to praise him.
The evil that men do lives after them,
The good is oft interred with their sacking,
So let it be with Modi …
The noble Mr Shashank Manohar Hath told you Modi was ambitious:
If it were so, it was a grievous fault, And grievously hath Modi answered it …
Here, under leave of Mr Manohar and the rest, (For Mr Manohar is an honourable man;
So are we all; all honourable men) Come I to speak in Mr Modi’s ouster…
He was our friend, faithful and just to all of us:
But we all say he was ambitious;
And we all are honourable men….
He hath brought many shady deals to IPL,
Whose ransoms did all our pockets fill:
Did this in Modi seem ambitious?
When that the bids could not be rigged, Modi hath wept:
Ambition should be made of sterner stuff:
Yet all of you say he was ambitious;
And we all are honourable men.
You all did see that on the negotiation meetings
Sony presented him with a TV Channel
Which he did refuse(he just took a plane): was this ambition?
Yet we all say he was ambitious;
And, sure, we all are honourable men.
I speak not to disprove what we all spoke,
But here I am to speak what I do know.
You all did love him once, not without cause (he made us rich):
What cause withholds you then to mourn for him?
O judgement! thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And we have lost our biggest scamster…. Bear with me;
My heart is in the coffin there with Modi and all our money we will lose now,
And I must pause till it come back to me.
(Mourns for 2 minutes)

Shashank Manohar : Thank you Mr Jaitley for your impassioned speech. Indeed we must all mourn Mr Modi. Today is a very sad day for us. Without Mr Modi we have no clue how to pull such grand scams and cheat every regulating authority with such panache. It is a very sad day for us.

Inderjit Singh Bindra : But without Modi, how will we survive? Who will rig the bidding and get us kickbacks? Who? Who? Who? We have to get him back !!

Srinivasan : But we had to sack him. First we needed a fall guy, besides his family’s stake in two IPL’s were sheer conflict of interest. How could we allow that?

Ravi Shastri : DUH !!!! You Mr Srinivasan own the Chennai Super Kings, and that too directly?

Srinivasan : But that is exactly the point. I own it directly. For that I changed the rules of BCCI, which was completely illegal, so I can own the team directly. His mistake was he did NOT change any rules, and made his family own it, but WORSE IS THAT HIS COMBINED FAMILY STAKE IS MORE THAN MY PERSONAL STAKE IN IPL. Tell me. how can I let that happen? So he had to go !!

Ravi Shastri : Makes sense.

MAK Pataudi : But will not the question arise what was the governing council doing here for 3 years? Why did we not raise a stink even when last year the kickback scandal broke?

Rajeev Shukla : What kickback? Mr Pataudi they called it the Facilitation Fee last year. How will we know it was kickback? We thought it was a facilitation fee to facilitate the move. How would we know it was a kickback !!! I just don’t understand this. Last year they call it facilitation fee and this year they call it kickback and expect us to know? I refute this charges vehemently.

Sanjay Jagdale : Absolutely !!! We have no resonsibility. After all we are just the governing council. And what is the governing council supposed to do? Govern the IPL so all things go right? But nothing went right from day one, so technically speaking we cannot be blamed as they gave us everything wrong.

Niranjan Shah : I completely agree with Mr Jagdale. We were cheated. Whenever we asked they said everything was going right. Modi should have told us things were going wrong !! He lied to us, so how can anyone blame us? What do you say Mr Gavaskar. You have been awfully quiet?

Gavaskar : Blame him, sack him, keep him. How do I care? I will sulk and not talk. What was the use of being a governing council member when I could not get my only son Rohan Gavaskar purchased by any team? I hate IPL. I hate Lalit Modi. I want my son :((((((. After all its all about loving one’s son 🙂

M.P. Pandove : Cool down Mr Gavaskar. We all understand. Mr Modi got his step-son-in -law to benefit, and you could not auction your only son? Its unfair. Please Mr Gavaskar, please don’t cry. Am sure God above will understand and help you pull this scam next time.

Niranjan Shah : So basically we all agree. Modi must go. He brought us disrepute. We all agree that in spite of being in the governing council we could not steal nearly as much as Mr Modi. Mr Pataudi could not get his son to win a bid, Mr Gavaskar could not get his son auctioned, Mr Srinivasan could only own one team, and most of us hardly made any money from all the scams as compared to Modi. Besides if he does not go, he will tweet about us knowing everything and basically confirming what everyone knows and understands – The governing council is equally hand in glove with him and / or we are bunch of idiots sitting here who have no clue what work they should do. So he has to go. All in favour say aye.

Shashank Manohar,Arun Jaitley, Inderjit Singh Bindra,M.P. Pandove, Chirayu Amin, Rajeev Shukla, Board secretary N. Srinivasan, joint secretary Sanjay Jagdale, Niranjan Shah, Ravi Shastri, Sunil Gavaskar and Mansoor Ali Khan Pataudi : AYE !!!!

SCENE II : Twitter Account of Modi

Modi on Twitter : Don’t worry guys. I will be back soon with a brand new scam. Till then wait for me. Adios !!

SCENE III: Rest of the country

Gullible Indian Public : So we spent money, stood in the sun to watch all rigged matches? Wow !!! And we will do it again next year. How many scams must the IPL have before they call for a ban…The answer my friend is blowing in the wind…AND HOPEFULLY WE WILL NOT BE BLOWN BY IT 🙂

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PS : If the article made you smile, leave your comments and votes behind to make me smile too 🙂

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Comments

  • sayak chakraborty  On April 27, 2010 at 1:05 pm

    jus awesome…nothing to say!

    • priyashmita  On April 27, 2010 at 1:10 pm

      Thank u thank u…keep the compliments coming..i love them 🙂

  • Ujay A. Vincy  On April 27, 2010 at 4:15 pm

    Simply awesome… If I had the power I would have given you the license to kill as well….

    • priyashmita  On April 27, 2010 at 4:17 pm

      Thanks 🙂

  • rajesh  On April 27, 2010 at 4:53 pm

    I think…. trhis is enough……… please if our politician involve in this matter i think no one can stop this drama…. i think that our country needs bold guy who stop all this drama… and i hope media do best in this matter… everybody currupted…. so i really told u evrybody please stop to supprot IPL.

  • Swati  On April 27, 2010 at 5:51 pm

    Very good read…enjoyed it. You are talented Priya…

  • priyashmita  On April 27, 2010 at 5:53 pm

    Thanks Swati 🙂

  • Subhankar Majumdar  On April 27, 2010 at 6:17 pm

    Terrific … Hic .Hic .. 🙂

  • imtiaz  On April 27, 2010 at 7:05 pm

    Now you/IPL will have to pay royalty to a certain Shakespeare family , do not worry let Mody handle it , he will cream this too and give ur cut too …

  • priyashmita  On April 27, 2010 at 7:06 pm

    And to Mr Ceasar’s family too 🙂 Mr Modi will say he made shakespeare and ceasar famous… elseo no one knew them 🙂

  • santokm  On April 28, 2010 at 12:00 am

    Priya…..
    1. That was funny….might be ‘Merchant of Venice’ would have been a better eg…..
    2. Frankly ….I was happy that we Indians were taking interest some sport.Sports leagues much bigger than IPL all over the world are plagued by such scams and just beacuse of incompetence of the governing body or the greed of one person we need not crush the hopes and aspirations of thousand of young budding sportsmen who are ready to take up sports as a profession.
    3. So I would say that banning the IPL is not the right step but putting in light and punishing the misdeeds of persons like Modi and others involved and continuing with the IPL in its full glory year after year would be the best….
    3. CHEERS!!! CSK WON!!

    • priyashmita  On April 28, 2010 at 12:04 am

      and you think anyone will be punished? this comment is funnier than my blog :)..modi gone..all scams back in action…

  • mukta  On April 28, 2010 at 9:50 am

    @Priyasmita..this is just awesome..pleae keep more coming for us..your regular readers:)

    • priyashmita  On April 28, 2010 at 9:20 pm

      Thanks a lot 🙂

  • Ann Narain  On May 1, 2010 at 3:18 pm

    This is the first time i read your writing here. its simply good..

    • priyashmita  On May 1, 2010 at 3:19 pm

      Thank you very much 🙂

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