An open letter to Mr Bal Thakeray…And to Support(sic) him

A satirical letter to Mr Bal Thakeray for the mafia raj he represents and going against Sachin Tendulkar, Mukesh Ambani and ShahRukh Khan

A letter to Mr Bal Thakeray for the hate politics he represents and we hate

Dear Mr Thakeray,

I really will say I have become quite an admirer of you. Who else has the guts to tell people like Mr Sachin Tendulkar, Mr Shah Rukh Khan, Mr Mukesh Ambani that they are traitors, etc with such elan and panache I wonder. But you do, and for that I salute you.

And since I am such admirer of you, I hope you will let me ask you a few questions which will clarify some doubts I have. Sir, I am only asking these as I want to defend you, when people speak against you which today constitutes 99.99% of the countrymen and women.

You have been saying that we should not let Australian players play in India. I completely support you on this. How dare they beat us up and how can we let them play in our country post that? But just a small question, when you beat up North Indians and Maharashtrians go to North India to play for various sports, I hope it is ok for them to stop them from playing or for that matter working there or living there? Naah? Oh wrong question I guess. I am sorry sir. I completely forgot different rules apply for you and for others. I will remember this next time someone tells me this sir. Oh sorry, I should not have said that in public? Am so sorry sir. Forgive me.

There is one more thing I support you for sir. Your total vandalism during Valentine day celebrations. How can we allow something so western in our country. Its completely unacceptable to tell someone you love them. I too deplore it. Hence you spread hatred which I agree India stands for. But sir, somebody that day told me there was a singer called Mr Michael Jackson who was a great pop star in USA. (I am against western culture and hence do not know much, but I hear he represented the western culture quite well). Sir, did you bring him to our country for a music concert? But sir, that would have spoilt our generations for years to come cause it was completely western and people would be dancing and singing sir? Oh sorry, did you say that was business and money for you and your family and hence acceptable? And on that ground, you are ok to let western civilisation take over us? Well sir, I apologise then. Next time anyone speaks against you, on this ground I will tell them this. Oh oh, I am sooooo sorry. That was not for public knowledge, right sir? Forgive me, will you sir for letting out the secret?

Sir, there was another subject which has been brought to my notice. Your son and you too always say that you don’t support vandalism and when people belonging to your party vandalise they do it as a spontaneous reaction. Sir, I completely agree. How can you control people sir? But sir, people are giving some weird definitions of being a leader. Some people have the gaul to say that a leader means he has followers whom he can control, who listen to him. One even told me dictionary defines leadership as a process by which a person influences others to accomplish an objective. So if you cannot control them it means you not a leader. Sir I of course told them, it is completely untrue and you can control and these followers are doing so cause you are telling them to, else would not. I did the right thing sir, right? They were saying you not a leader. Oh sorry, did I goof up? Does that implicate you in criminal proceedings for supporting and initiating vandalism? I am so sorry Sir. Please forgive me.

By the way Sir, I want to congratulate you sir for taking on the mights of Sachin Tendulkar, Mr Mukesh Ambani, Mr Shah rukh Khan. I completely agree sir they are traitors. After all what have they done for us? Got us awards and made country proud? Made the Indian economy go soaring high? Made us an international force in the world in each of their respective domains? And not supporting you in something, becuase it is unconstitutional? Of course sir they are traitors. You sir, is the true champion of Indians. You are advocating dividing the country and talking something that the constitution says gives the country to arrest you and put you behind bars. But so what sir. Even freedom fighters went behind bars and that time what they said was unconstitutional as far as the British were concerned. You sir, are managing single handedly to do what Pakistan, whom you call as our enemy can never ever achieve . Dividing the country and making us hate our own countrymen, thus weakening the country. Oh sorry, wrong analogy sir? Am I getting you into trouble? I apologise sir. Please Please forgive me sir.

And finally sir, please please do something about these people who say bad bad things about you. Sir, they say you a hypocrite sir. Sir, they saying you actually had Mr Javed Miandad in your home who happens to be related to Mr Dawood Ibrahim, our most wanted criminal? Sir apparently post that you did a press conference praising him. And sir, these bad bad majority Indians, are also saying if you so against relationships with Pakistan, why are you not screaming at Mr Amitabh Bachhan who is reciting poetry with them for some very wrong program that Times of India is conducting in India called “Aman ki Asha”? Sir they are calling you publicity hungry and thats why you opposing “My Name Is Khan”. But sir, I fiercely fought for you. I told them you against “My Name is Khan” cause Mr ShahRukh Khan made some innocuous statement that we Indians should have shown more grace when we handle Pakistan players especially when there is a problem. I told them sir how dare Mr ShahRukh say something which show Indians in a positive light. We will never accept such blasphemy. But sir, one problem I could not tell them why you allowed Mr Javed Miandad to come and then praised him or why you not saying anything against TOI and Mr Bachhan, who is your friend, cause it supports the same thing you opposing. Sir, I keep saying its cause its been slipping your mind. You will oppose it too. Right, Sir? No, sir? Oh sorry sir, you cannot as they are your friends and you actually have no such cause that you believe in? Oh sir, you mean in your heart of hearts you actually a hypocrite who does not follow what you preach? Oh sorry sir, I again told something in public which I should not sir. Sorry sir, I fall at your feet. Please forgive me for confirming what all know sir. Please sir, I know you love apologies and I am apologising from the bottom of my heart sir.

Sir, I guess I am really making things bad for you by letting the cat out of the bag. I don’t want to sir, cause I really admire you. Hence I will not write anymore sir. Hope sir, I have not harmed you in any way.

But sir, before I end I want to tell you a few things, which might actually help you.

1. Promote Australians to kill us more. So far mostly they have killed north indians. It will take the burden off you from killing them
2. Promote V day. Makes more economic sense like it did when you brought it Mr Jackson
3. Slyly help Pakistani terrorists, etc divide us. Will help your agenda in removing all North Indians away from Maharashtra and you can be happy with only Maharashtrians in your land.

And Sir, to all who call us a banana republic, I say we not. We a republic who have the most thick skinned buffoons as their citizens and hence we vote for you Mr Thakeray and we do not ban parties like you.

I salute you sir and I salute us Indian citizens even more for voting you and your party year after year, even though they know what you represent. For that sir, and that alone, we deserve you and deserve the way you sending the country to the dogs !! Keep up the good work sir.

With deepest regards

Priyashmita

PS : And I hope I will not be asked to tender any further apology, sir, as have apologised all through the letter. I am aware how much you love apologies

You can read my second letter to Mr Thakeray here

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Comments

  • Santosh  On February 10, 2010 at 8:49 pm

    Read the Subverse column in todays TOI…strong words from otherwise jovial Jug Suraiya…..might be Maha in Maha mayhem…

    • priyashmita  On February 10, 2010 at 9:18 pm

      read it santosh..and i said this exact thing a few days back

  • Vipin Thomas  On February 10, 2010 at 8:51 pm

    This is awsome.. I hope this gets to him..

    • priyashmita  On February 10, 2010 at 9:18 pm

      Thanks vipin. i love compliments 🙂

  • Mahesh  On February 10, 2010 at 10:20 pm

    Priyashmita,

    I echo your thoughts. and you write really well. you should do that more regularly

    regards

    Mahesh

    • priyashmita  On February 10, 2010 at 10:23 pm

      thank u..and like i said..i love compliments

  • abhijit kadam  On February 11, 2010 at 11:42 am

    Very nice………….. I like It so much………..
    carry on……….

    • priyashmita  On February 11, 2010 at 12:06 pm

      Thank you

  • imtiaz  On February 11, 2010 at 12:55 pm

    u were allways full of guts and spunk and now that has exploded in print …

    • priyashmita  On February 11, 2010 at 1:01 pm

      Thank you immy chacha

  • imtiaz  On February 11, 2010 at 1:08 pm

    u were allways gutsy and spunky …it has now exploded in print …bravo and more power to you

  • uddalok  On February 11, 2010 at 3:43 pm

    Dear Priya,

    Sena spokes(woe)man er remuneration how much?? As usual a gr8 piece! Salut

    • priyashmita  On February 11, 2010 at 7:27 pm

      Thank you. And no money being given to me stil, but they have promised. After all I have so much respect for their leader and keep on saying sorry to him, since that is the only thing he loves. Say sorry to me 🙂

  • Vijay...  On February 12, 2010 at 9:58 pm

    I Salute You…!!!

    • priyashmita  On February 12, 2010 at 11:08 pm

      Thank you. I hope Mr Thakeray and his likes grow up now or the country does

  • Tanu Lele  On February 12, 2010 at 11:42 pm

    This needs to be hand delivered to him!.

    • priyashmita  On February 12, 2010 at 11:44 pm

      So many of you have written the same thing, both in FB and here that I am now seriously contemplating doing that. At least publish it for him to see

  • priyashmita  On February 13, 2010 at 3:11 am

    Anyone who reads this article, and supports me in supporting Mr Thakeray, please do leave your comments behind here. Am planning to send this to him showing the support I got for him.
    He might end up giving me a party ticket.

    Thanks a lot.

  • N.V.Rao  On February 13, 2010 at 8:15 am

    This is awsome.. I hope this gets to followers. Nothing to worry we are observing their progress in Politics.

    • priyashmita  On February 13, 2010 at 10:19 am

      I hope so too..and gets to the people who vote for him. Heard he got 44% vote in Mumbai alone

  • S Mirza  On February 14, 2010 at 1:22 am

    Mr.Thakeray definitely needs a few of these letters to be recited to him every other day…May b there might be a change in SARKAR…
    well written priyaa…!

    • priyashmita  On February 14, 2010 at 1:46 am

      Well he not in sarkar..and still see what he does…..and dont think it will make any difference…but i would love to send this to him

      Thanks for the compliment

  • Shaishav  On February 15, 2010 at 8:40 pm

    Hi Priya,

    I’d like to add one more thing which is contradictory to his stand against western culture…Mr. Thakrey had organised the only Micheal Jackson concert in India…Thats why “He’s BAD”

    • priyashmita  On February 15, 2010 at 8:42 pm

      LOL…i agree…yet he gets 44% of the mumbai votes..thats makes us “bad”

  • Shaishav  On February 15, 2010 at 8:43 pm

    And yes..one more thing..Now V-day is an amazing opportunity for those who are struggling to get the marriage registered…Go out and the Sainiks will get your marriage registered…

    • priyashmita  On February 15, 2010 at 8:45 pm

      That I agree……best way to defy parents

  • kentlord  On February 18, 2010 at 6:52 pm

    Retorical!!!A piece of art indeed it is..
    Great Work my friend.Keep it up.

    • priyashmita  On February 18, 2010 at 9:32 pm

      Thank you 🙂

  • mrigank  On October 18, 2010 at 9:18 pm

    wow! i’m glad i stumbled upon this post. absolutely loved it. wish i could have written my open letter with such restraint and wit. you taunted, but never stooped. brilliant. am gonna send this link to some people who i think will like it.
    keep going.

    • priyashmita  On October 18, 2010 at 9:46 pm

      Thank you so much 🙂 But Mr Thakeray still continues

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