I am dark…and am loving it :)

I have often heard the comment…”even though you are dark you have a pretty face” being told to me…and i always end up wondering…is it an oxymoron dark and beautiful?…if not why do people naturally assume that dark people cannot be pretty or attractive?

I was told that when I was born a lot of people told my parents that it would be tough to get me married cause I was dark and once when I had an accident at the age of 4..and people thought it might leave a scar on my face..the discussion went to greater depths….its a separate thing that my dad and my mom were never really bothered about my marriage and they only cared if their daughter studied and made it in life (and my dad did not want me married at all..no one in this world was good enough for his daughter)….but the fact was people still consider that if you dark skinned you cannot be pretty…

I have an aunt of mine..mishtu….actually she is more my friend as we more or less same age group…she is dark..and I would like to compare her with all the fair damsels I have ever met…and ask anyone who knows her if they can find even 1 girl who even remotely looks as hot and  as pretty and sweet as her…then why this belief?

I have often gone to the beauty parlour to get dressed for a occassion …only to make it very clear…DONT YOU DARE MAKE ME FAIR…and to see some of the shocked expression on their face which said “why would a girl not want to look fair? is she insane?????”…And seeing their reaction I would generally just wonder..is it me? am i really so different??

Maybe I am..I remember quite some time back there was an infamous fight between bipasha basu and kareena kapoor and the latter called her kaali billi..in other words referring to the fact that bipasha is dark….and insinuating she is better looking cause she is fair…and the media obviously splashed it all over…and the only thing that struck me in the entire fight was why no one asked kareena does dark mean you cannot be pretty?….and the bigger thing which struck me was why did no one question her that?

Of course the othe common factor added to dark skin is marriage ads…am yet to see a marriage ad which says looking for a dark skinned wife…why does everyone want a fair wife?? (I will put up a separate post where I will give my response to one such marriage ad shortly)..But truly can someone tell me why does everyone want a fair wife? And this desire cuts across every generation and every social class

And of course then there is the case of the fairness creams….i have no issues with them had they said i will just look fairer with it..but they go to madenning heights to say I will be successful only if am fair???? Helloooo…am successful in every sense of the word…and am dark…so is so many of my friends….so please can those ad film makers stop making such ludicrous ads? When we stop parliament cause of some tv program I wonder why no law maker makes an issue of this? I know there is a small hue and cry and hence they have changed it a bit..but nothing of consequence so far..and I refuse to believe that ad makers in India cannot come up with a more sensible marketing campaign for them….

Anyway the question that still remains…and a question I want to ask all..does dark mean not beautiful?? Does being dark mean I cannot be successful? Does dark mean I wont find a man??? Cause I am dark…and I feel beautiful..i am successful..i do meet men (and the reason for less success in this department has nothing to do with my skin colour i assure you 🙂 )….. I AM DARK…AND LIKE I SAID…I AM LOVING IT

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  • Meryl Burke  On November 13, 2009 at 10:57 am

    It’s interesting to read what is foisted on the image of girls in India.
    You’re considered more beautiful if you’re lighter?
    Here in the west it’s quite the opposite and being dark is popular. Females go to tanning salons, tan outdoors, and use use skin pigment to create a tan or darker skin.
    The West is in awe of the exotic beauty of African and multi cultural beauties and imitating the bi-racial and darker skinned females is all the rage.
    Oh well at least this shows that it’s not exclusively whites that have fair skin bias; it’s universal. Like I said tanning is actually a multi million dollar industry.
    From what I’ve read light skin bias has been prevalent and ingrained in cultures long before colonialism and western culture influence.
    We all know there is beauty in diversity and we are all familiar with the saying beauty is only skin deep.
    So glad you feel good about yourself as you should and I it’s not worth loosing a wink of sleep over.

  • Kriti  On January 31, 2011 at 8:06 pm

    Priya, its true what Meryl says above. I guess its just a case of the “grass is always greener on the other side”. Since Indians are mostly dark, lighter complexion is something of envy. Black rocks! I believe it but that’s just a personal choice. Usually I have no problem with either black or brown or white…. Its like you said – what does the color have to do with anything at all : )

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